Beautiful Disaster
by IllbUrMadHatterifullBmyAlice
Summary: Ryan Vega is finally home. Back in Charming is where she belongs. She doesn't plan on staying long but can a certain Son change her mind? Will her past come back to haunt her and lead her to leave again like last time?
1. Chapter 1

_**I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
You're gone away  
You don't feel me here anymore**_

_**Broken- Seether Ft- Amy Lee.**_

I walked up to his grave. "I can't believe it's been so long since I visited." I started off by talking to Donna's grave site. "I still can't believe you are gone. Remember when we first met? God that was good times." I said as I sat down. I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around to see someone who I haven't seen a very long time.

"Blackout, what the hell?" I heard the old man say to me.

"Surprise. I heard about Donna." I said with sadness in my voice.

"Glad you are back in town." He said as he put flowers down by her grave. After he put flowers down he engulfed me in a bear hug.

"Me too." I said as I walked back with him to his truck.

"You need a lift?" I heard him ask as I walked back to where my manager was parked. Yeah I rode with him.

"Sure let me tell Tome." I said as I walked to the car and told him to he could go back to the hotel for the night, I was headed with someone else. He only nodded and took off. I walked back to the truck and climbed in. "Looking good." I said to him.

"They will be glad to see you." I heard him say as he pulled out in to traffic.

"You think so besides how did you know it was me?" I stated as we pulled in to his driveway. He only pointed to my fire red hair, of course. I hadn't had the chance to get rid of the color. He always told me that it suited my attitude. "What we doing here?" I asked as he got out.

"Just had to make a quick stop." He said as he shut the door. I stayed in the truck turned up the radio. "In other news, Ryan "Blackout Kid" Vega won her latest match. She seems to have gone on a winning streak but quickly declined to fight again due to issues. More when we come back." I quickly turned it back down.

"What was that about" The old man asked as he got in to the truck noticing that my hand lingered to long on the radio button.

"Nothing, just turned the station." I said as I pulled my hand back. I noticed the old man carrying a box. "What's in the box?"

"Just something for you when you would have returned." He said as he shoved the box in to my hands and we headed out of the driveway. "Don't open it yet."

I was about to speak but my phone cut me off. "Ryan Vega." I answered knowing it was normal for me. "Yeah no I heard, I don't want to talk about it just yet." I said and I hung up.

"Reason for you staying in Charming?" I heard him ask as I checked my phone for any messages as to why I suddenly backed out of my major fights coming up soon.

"None but I just missed my family." I said as we pulled up along a cop car. The old man nodded to the officers in the car and we headed towards main street then we headed to the clubhouse.

* * *

"You ready for this?" He asked as he stepped out.

"As I ever will be." I said as I stepped out walking to the clubhouse with him.

I ended up hearing a bunch of whistles and cat calls to me. I just ignored them. "Maybe we should have visited Opie first." I stated.

"Not a chance. Should see me first off all." I heard from behind me.

"Gemma, should have known." I said hugging her.

"Damn who is that fine ass lady?" I heard from none other than Tig. I felt Gemma shake her head at him. I couldn't help but laugh, I guess in seven years you really can change.

"I sure would like to tap that." I heard someone say with a thick Latino accent. I smiled at that one. Shouldn't be too bad.

"Glad you are home." Gemma said as she pulled away from me. All the guys looked at me.

"Oh shit." I heard Chibs mutter.

"That's right. I am back." I said to him as I hugged him.

"Who the fuck?" Everyone heard as I seen the Prince of Charming walking to us. "No fucking way." He said as he scooped me up for a hug.

"Who is this lady?" I heard Clay ask as he approached us.

"I told you it wouldn't be too bad." I heard the old man say to me.

"Thanks, Piney." I said as I hugged him. I was finally back with my family and that all that really mattered. We walked in to the clubhouse now that everyone well most of everyone greeted me outside expect for few of them.

"Who are you?" I heard from the side of me.

"Names Ryan. Your's?" I asked.

He looked at me then said "Half Sack." I lauged.

"Lost a nut? Shit happens." I said as I took a swig of my beer. Totally off my diet but I didn't care I was on a leave. I saw Clay get up and start talking. Chibs flipped the tv off and everyone turned to Clay.

"I just wanted to say that it is great finally having Ryan back home. Alright let's drink up." He shouted as he chugged his beer down.

"What makes you special?" I heard the thick accent behind me.

"You must be Juice. Ryan." I said sticking out my hand.

"Yeah, how did you know?" He asked.

"As some would say look me up since you are the intelligence officer." I said as I slide off the stool and walked to where Chibs was talking to Tig.

"Who might you be? Mine for the night?" Tig said to me as I sat next to Chibs who started to laugh.

"Lad she isn't going to fall for it. She didn't last time, she won't this time." Chibs said as he laughed.

"Last time? I don't remember a pretty face like yours around here." He said as he looked at me.

"You should, Alex. I had you in the palm of my hand before I left you hopeless. How's Dawn and Fawn?" I asked. I had recently caught up with them at my last fight and we just had a girl day not too long ago. Everyone knew how pissed off Tig was when I left without any word. It wasn't like I was his or anything. I mean yeah we hooked up a couple of times but that was it.

"You know about my daughters?" He asked getting mad.

"I saw them recently. Spa day with the ladies." I said smirking. He sat there with the confused look on his face. "I don't think he is quite getting it Chibs, do you think I could tell him or let him figured it out?"

"Nah this is way too much fun." Chibs replied flipping on the tv again and watching it. Soon a preview for my next fight came on tv.

"Shit flip it off Chibbie." I said as I tried for the remote. With no luck we were stuck watching it. "Why has Blackout Kid taken an extended leave of absence? We wish her the best in her leave of absence." Joe Rogan said as he was reporting from the ring the next fight for MMA.

Tig finally looked at me and smiled. "You fucker." I could only laugh. "Ryan how the hell are you?"

"Pretty great, now you want that piece of my ass?" I asked as I walked to the dorms. "Make me forget my name Tiger." I smirked as I felt him come sliding up next to me and smacking my ass.

"Don't make too much noise." Clay said as he walked us walk away. The only thing he got in return was a finger in the air.

* * *

Jax seethed as he walked Ryan and Tig walk back to the dorm rooms. He didn't know why he felt so protective over her. I mean not like she was his or anything. Of course they did hook up a couple of times but that was it. That was when they were seventeen and she had just met him. "Don't treat her like a sweetbutt Tig." Jax muttered to himself.

"Treat who?" Juice said as he sat next to his VP.

"Ryan." Jax seethed out in anger.

"Why? She ain't family is she?" Juice asked. He was still kind of new to all of this.

"She's more than family." Jax said as he got up and walked away. Juice was there still with a confused look on his face. He walked over to his computer and started searching the web for "Blackout Kid". He found many passages for that. Her name did pop however, only to be Ryan Vega. Oh shit was his first thought as he read over her information.

"You know all you had to do was ask." I said as I smoothed up to him. "Did you google me? Vega isn't my real last name by the way." I said as I licked my lips.

"Tell me more." Juice said.

"Take me on a date." I said while smirking at him.

* * *

**Disclaimer I do not own anything. I only own my OC. Although Kurt Sutter owns SOA.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**This one came from rings  
This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care  
Yeah, Cut right into me  
Yeah, Cause I am Made Of Scars  
Yes I am made of scars  
This one had it coming  
This one found a vein  
This one was an accident, but never gave me pain  
This one was my fathers and  
This one you can't see  
This one had me scared to death,**_

_**Stone Sour- Made Of Scars.**_

The clubhouse was in full party mode. The music was loud and there was croweaters, sweetbutts, and some of newbies that I haven't seen before. "How's it going? You mine for the night?" I heard Opie whisper in my ear.

"Shut up Opie. I could be." I smiled at him. He looked at me in the eyes.

"Shit Ryan, I thought you were someone else." Opie murmured as he wrapped his arms around me.

"What made you want to come home? After being gone all these years." I heard Opie ask me.

"I just missed it. Missed my family." I said as I shrugged my shoulders. I glanced over at Tig. He was keeping a watchful eye on me.

"Sometime else is wrong too." Opie said just trying to push me.

"Opie nothing is wrong." I said as I pulled out of his grasp and stormed out.

I saw Jax and Juice coming walking to me. "Why does he always think something is wrong when I am back." I muttered.

"Cause you always come back when something went wrong or something is about to go wrong." I heard Jax answer for me.

"How do you two know each other?" Juice asked us.

"You are new at this aren't you?" I asked. He simply nodded. "Thought so."

"Why did you come back? Besides family and don't give me that bullshit." Jax said as he lit up his smoke.

"Let's not talk about it right now." I said as I heard my phone ring. I looked at it and hit ignore. This person could wait.

"Juice, her and I go way back. Back to when we seventeen and we just met." Jax said as he looked at me.

"You tried picking me up multiple times. Getting shot down each time." I said as I smiled.

"How about that date?" I heard Juice ask me.

"Don't worry about it. We will get to it." I said pushing myself off the picnic and walking away.

"Back off Juice." I heard Jax threaten him with. Boy if he knew the things Opie and I did together, he would be singing a different tune.

* * *

"Gemma." I shouted over some croweaters.

"What baby?" She asked. Handing me some presents. The music died down, some of the croweaters looked around for patches to fuck, and some just fell right back down.

"You got some presents to open up." Bobby said as he handed me a box. I opened the box to find his home made banana bread.

"This shit is the bomb, do you know how much I missed it." I said as I bit in to and I moaned at the taste of it. Tig smiled and laughed. "Shut it Tig." I said taking another bite.

Piney shoved the same box in to my hands that he had in the truck. "This is from Opie and I."

I opened the box to find some Captain and Jack. "Still a Jack girl, you remembered." I said as I hugged him then I wondered over to find Opie and hug him. "Thank you."

I opened some more to find random items that I loved. Some shot glasses and keys. "Are these the keys?" I asked.

"Yeah baby, all fixed up for you." I heard Jax say from behind me. No one knew how much I loved my car, my Shelby Ford Mustang GT500. Flat black with one hot pink racing strip down the middle. Sadly when I had "left" home my car was forgotten by me. I smiled so big.

"It's out front-" Jax started off but I was already outside and starring at my car. I walked around it.

"I can't wait to test drive this baby." I said to myself. I hugged Jax. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."

"You're welcome Blackout." Jax said as he smiled. Both him and Opie giving me that nickname after a fight broke out some time ago.

"Can I test it now?" I asked hoping for a yes.

"I think you have had too much to drink." Clay said as he took my keys, I only pouted as we all walked back into the clubhouse.

* * *

"Shut up you don't know what happened that night." I said as I smacked Juice on the arm. This time I was on my sixth shot or was it seventh shot of Jack. I had lost count. The fire liquid burned down my throat.

"Then what happened sweetheart?" Juice asked.

"First of all I did not let him come on to me. I came on to him. Jax is the best." I said as I kissed Jax on the check. I felt someone tugging on my hair, I looked up to see Tig.

"I think someone has had enough Jack." I heard Tig say to Juice and Jax.

"I will say when I had enough." I said as I grabbed his hand that was going for my shot glass. I knew he was quite a bit older than me but at this point I didn't care. I was drinking to forget.

"You never told me what you do for a living." Juice said as he refilled our shots.

"MMA Fighter." I hick upped out. I started to laugh.

"Your Blackout Kid. No shit." Juice said. Forgetting that fact that he had googled her this morning for background information.

"Yeah, that's,,, Me." I said between laughs and glares I shot at Tig.

"You can't hold your Jack hun." Tig said as he pulled my hair back.

"Fuck you. I hold shit." I said as I tried getting up and walking off.

"Juice follow her." Tig yelled to Juice and he started to get up by Jax started to get up.

"Relax I got it."

* * *

After I had told Tig to fuck off, I found myself sitting on the roof top.

"Thought I would find you up here." I heard from behind me. I only nodded.

"Yeah, needed to do some thinking. You know?" I stated.

I looked down at my feet and legs. "What are the scars from?"

I took a swig of Jack. I sure as hell didn't want to remember living this part again. "An ex old man."

"They seem pretty fresh." He said as he went to feel them. Soon as he hands hit the spot where it hurt I let out a stream of curse words. "You kiss your mama with that mouth?"

"Fucker." I muttered.

"Heard that."

"You going to leave us again?" He asked me while looking at me.

"Not yet." I said as I laid down and looked at the stars.

"Good. Stick around help out your dad and brother." He said before leaving me with my thoughts.

* * *

**Again I do not own anything I only own my OC. The rest belong to their respectful owner(s).**


	3. Chapter 3

_**I want the truth from you  
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me  
I want the truth from you  
Give me the truth, even if it hurts me  
I know that this will break me  
I know that this might make me cry  
You gotta say what's on your mind, on your mind  
I know that this will hurt me  
and break my heart and soul inside  
I don't wanna live this lie**_

_**Good Charlotte- The Truth **_

I thought about what Jax said to me last night. That I should stick around for Opie and Piney. I mean even though I wasn't his daughter, he was my father figure that I needed in life. And well Opie just happened to be the big brother that I needed and I never really had.

"Maybe you can talk to her?" I heard Opie talk to Tig. I nodded my head. Fuck this I thought.

"Can we talk?" I heard Tig ask me as he walked and sat next me.

"What? Doing Opie's dirty work now?" I asked as I slipped my water.

"No, when did you become a bitch?" He asked as he stared at me.

"Tig just because I fucked you once doesn't mean I am going to fuck you again. Look Opie wants to know why I am here and quite frankly I don't want to talk about it. He keeps pushing it." I said to him as I started to walk away.

* * *

"Don't push him out or me for that matter." I heard him say as I walked away. I walked into the garage and seen Jax with another women. Must be Tara, Jax hated her with a passion. I knew everything about their relationship.

"Look we just need to talk." I heard her say to him as he tried pushing her away. She didn't notice me yet but he did. His eyes pled help me. I nodded knowing he needed it. "I know I fucked up by taking that internship, but I just needed to get out of this town." I walked up to her.

"Hey baby, you left this in my room this morning." I said as I handed him his pair of boxers. "Don't worry you may not need them tonight."

"Thanks, Sugar." He said as he kissed me. He slipped his tongue in and we both fought for dominance. We stayed like that for about five or so minutes.

"I'm sorry do you need something?" I asked the girl that was standing there.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to my man." She said as she tried to talk to him.

"Honey he moved on maybe you should too. Sorry I didn't catch your name." I said.

"Tara Knowles. And who the hell do you think you are? You aren't going to last long here with him. He will just use you like he did to me." She said as she puffed her chest out, thinking she was big bad and tough.

"Ryan Winston. Don't worry I plan on staying here long time. Unlike you he loves some Latino pussy." I said as I felt my Latino side come out. Yeah I was a mix of Latino, Italian, and some other shit.

"Fuck you ain't bitch." Tara screamed at me. She made a move to slap me but I caught it.

"Bitch you back the fuck off me otherwise we are going to be having a fight. I always win my fights." I hissed at her.

Jax and the rest of the guys were watching us. Gemma stared at us thought the office window. Some of the other guys just stared at me, then have never seen me get pissed. That was the Latino side of me. The Italian side came out when I cooked. "Oh shit. It's going to get sideways." I heard Piney say from behind us. "Everyone get their bets ready."

She started to walk away and I turned slightly but I felt her push me. "Ah hell no." I yelled her as I grabbed her hair. I know hair pulling was weak but I didn't care at this point. I slammed her head on the nearest car which happened to be hers. Blood came gushing out. I knew I hit a spot. Her hands went to my hair and she pulled to get me away from her. I let go and I shoved her down. I started to kick her in her ribs. She started to cough. I backed off and started to walk away. She crawled up and started to go after me again, I whipped around and my foot connected with her face. "Leave." I said as low as I could. I swallowed hard. She stared at me. My boot left a clean cut right below her right eye. She was about to go after me again when Juice pulled her away. Blood still dripping down her face as she was dragged away. I turned around and the guys were looking at me like what the hell was that and that was fucking hot. I smiled and grabbed Jax.

"Where we going? I still got work to do." He said as he tried getting away.

"Shut up." I said as I pulled him to the dorms. I still needed to work off this steam and sex was one of the best ways.

* * *

I woke up to the showering running. I looked over and that when it hit me. I was in Jax's room. There was a knock on the door. "Come in." I yelled as I covered the sheet on me some more.

"Where's Jax? Clay wants him." Juice asked as he looked around the room.

"Shower." I said as I got up and started to collect my clothes.

"You know everyone heard you guys." Juice said as he looked away.

"Good." I smirked as Jax came out.

"Damn. Church in ten." Juice said as he walked out.

"What?" Jax asked as he unwrapped the towel around him.

"My handiwork." I smirked at him. I grabbed my things and I started for the shower.

"Ryan, what are we?" He asked as I stepped into the bathroom.

"How about friends?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said he grabbed a shirt not bothering to cover up Ryan's work.

* * *

"I think she worked you good." Opie said as he smiled at Ryan's work.

"Shut up. I didn't notice until she was done." I heard Jax say as I walked by him.

"Damnit Jax cover that shit up." Piney said as he tossed his shirt at him.

"Thanks to you shithead we are behind." Gemma said as she walked in.

"My fault Gemma. I was pretty sure you seen it right." I asked. Knowing she was keeping tabs on me.

"Yeah baby I seen it. Hell I am sure everyone did." Gemma said as she walked into the kitchen.

The smell of fresh baked cookies came out from the kitchen. I grabbed some and got some milk. I sat at the bar and started to eat.

"That was pretty good fighting. You know Old Lady material." I heard Chibs say to me.

"Yeah I know. Thanks." I muttered at I slipped my milk.

"Question is TIg or Jax?" Chibs said as he looked me over.

* * *

**Again I don't own anyone I only own my OC. The rest respectful owner(s).**


	4. Chapter 4

_**I'm sorry, I don't mean to remember  
It's true that I dream less often  
I'm not ashamed of that long December  
Your hand's coming down again  
I close my eyes and brace myself  
I only noticed your face  
No matter what, you're gonna build my shell  
No matter what, you're gonna build my shell  
I'm falling, I'm shedding my skin  
But it's not time I'm told  
I am aware of what you mean and by the  
I'm only ten years old**_

_**Flyleaf – I'm Sorry.**_

I thought that it was finally time that I test of my new car. I started walking to it. The thoughts and words that Chibs told me. Pick one. Jax or Tig? Weighed on my mind. No doubt about it that they both would protection that I needed. I ran my hands over my face, phone ringing bringing me to me out of my thoughts.

"Ryan here." I answered knowing it was Tome.

"Hey you have an event tonight, you know let everyone know why you are taking your leave." I heard Tome say into the phone.

"Yeah, thanks. I don't know if I am sure yet." I said as I put my car in drive and took off.

"Why? I sure they would love to hear that you got beat up and hit by Jayson Mack. You know your ex-boyfriend." He said as I heard the approval in his voice. I forgot that Tome was also his manager too.

"No, they love him. I would rather leave then let him get more attention. Jayson doesn't need it. Plus you don't know all of it." I said hanging up, now knowing he was going to call Jayson.

* * *

"Where did Ryan go?" Opie asked Juice as he was sitting at the bar with a drink in hand.

"She took off a few hours ago. Why?" Juice said.

"I just need a family talk." Opie said as he sat down.

"Is she like your sister or something?" Juice asked as he wanted to know what was going on and why everyone thought she was important.

"Yeah, something like that." Opie said as he turned to walk away. "If you really wanted to know ask her."

* * *

I climbed back in to my car after just driving around aimlessly. I didn't have a clue to where I was going. I checked my phone. One new text message. _Sorry about it, J told me everything._ I didn't bother replying. What I needed was a family talk with Opie. I drove back to the clubhouse, not seeing his truck or bike there I turned around and took off for his house.

"Opie you home?" I yelled though the house. Three kids came running to me.

"Who are you?" The little girl asked.

"A friend of your dads. Is he home?" I asked her. I saw Gemma walking in the back side of the house.

"Ellie and Kenny this is your aunt Ryan. Opie's kids with Donna." Gemma said as she grabbed the other blond haired kid and took off.

"Ryan what you doing here?" I heard Opie ask me as he walked in.

"Just needed to talk." I said as I sat down and the kids sat next to me.

"How come we haven't seen you here before?" I saw the little girl ask me. Her name was Ellie.

"Well Ellie, my father told me to always follow your dreams. Do you follow your dreams?" I asked her as she played with her hair.

"Yeah I think I do. Did you?" Ellie asked as Kenny looked at us.

Opie being his father and all cut us off. "You know how you two watch that Blackout Kid fight? I never told you about her."

"Yeah dad she kicks butt." Kenny said as he jumped up and started boxing. Well pretending he was boxing.

"I'm Blackout Kid." I said. Ellie and Kenny were shocked.

"Wow. How do you know my dad then?" Kenny asked.

"I left home when I was around fifteen. I met your dad when I was seventeen. We been friends ever since. But I don't not recommend running away from home." I said with a smile on my face.

"Yes." They both said to me as I hugged them.

"Can you two play in the backyard while we talk." Opie asked them as they took off running.

* * *

"What did you want to talk about." Opie said after breaking the silence that filled the room quickly.

"Remember how you said that I left for a reason." I started out. He nodded his head and let me continue. "His name is Jayson. He recently beat me so bad that I don't remember waking up in the the hospital. It took a lot from me that I wanted to keep fighting but I can't fight anymore due to that."

"Shit, really Ryan. Do I need to remind him who your family is?" He growled out. Getting pissed off that he let his sister get beat up bad.

"After I told him it was over, he went as far as stalking me and yeah." I said as I couldn't come up with the right words.

"Fuck." He said.

"Please don't tell dad." I said as I let the tears fall.

"I'll let you tell him and the rest of the gang." He said as he hugged me and just let me cry.

* * *

I sat in the clubhouse. Debating whether or not if I was Old Lady ready. I checked my phone as it buzzed in my pocket. Seeing it was him I hit ignore.

"What you thinkin about?" I heard from the side of me. I looked over and seen Bobby.

"Thinking that coming home wasn't right for me." I said with a sad sigh.

"Why? Your dad and brother thought it was a good idea. You bring life in to this clubhouse." Bobby said.

"Yeah but I told him why I was here." I said as I sighed again. Fighting was the only thing that connected me to my real father. Not with my mother so much. I still feel bad that I broke that up.

"Let me guess. You were beaten?" Bobby said as the rest of the club members popped in. Everyone stared at me. They all knew now.

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath.

"Church. Now." Clay roared out and they followed in. "Ryan you too."

* * *

**Again I only own my OC the rest belong to their respectful owner(s).**

**Also I thought about posting a picture of what I would think Ryan would look like. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the reviews, I love seeing them.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**If you only knew how many times I counted  
All the words that went wrong  
If you only knew how I refuse to let you go  
Even when you're gone  
I don't regret any days I spent  
Nights we shared or letters that I sent  
It's 4:03, and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life  
Breathe your breath in me  
The only thing that I still believe in is you  
If you only knew, if you will only knew**_

_**If You Only Knew – Shinedown.**_

We all stood in the Church room. Quiet. The room usually filled with talking now stood quiet. "Opie you didn't tell did you?" Was all I had to ask before I saw the look on his face.

"You need to tell us darlin' before we find him and do it ourselves." I heard Jax say to me as everyone nodded.

"Where do I start?" I questioned as I thought about how I would talk about this. I never thought that I would have to talk about this again.

"How about when you left us without any words?" Tig said as he bit back a bitter laugh. I knew he was pissed when I left.

"Tig I know you are pissed that I left without any words. You knew why I left. I was tired of being treated like a sweetbutt to you. I saw all those croweaters up on you and you did nothing. You know I thought maybe I had found something in you but I didn't. Even after I fought some of them off you, you still went back to them." I started off staring at Tig.

"You are so fucking sexy right now, being all mad and pissed off at me." Tig started to come at me.

"Don't you dare try to fucking touch me. I thought I wouldn't be treated like a sweetbutt to you but I was no different than anyone else. No you passed me over for a croweater every fucking time." I said.

"I thought that was what you wanted." He started off. Opie held him back.

"No. But it doesn't matter anymore. It's in the past. Now as for why I am here. The reason I left fighting is cause I can't fight anymore at least until I am healed properly. Jayson the one that I was with when I left most of you beat me." I started off. Jax stared at her, not noticing the scars she had on her arms or hands. She was beautiful to him. Not just sexy or pretty but plainly beautiful to him. The red hair that cascaded down her bare back side with her wearing a backless top. How every once and a while she would smile and the light in her eyes would pop in and then they would be gone again. "Everything was going great until the day I found him with Tome. He had been cheating on me for the past year or so. Then he said he was expecting with her and I was no longer needed in his life, but he still wanted me on the side. I told him I wasn't going to take it." I said as I could feel all these memories coming back. I shook my head trying to get them away from my body. "Every time I had a fight after that, he was there to greet me, he never left me alone. I tired leaving so many times but he always found me and beat me." I said. I noticed Jax keep looking at me. I hope he didn't notice the things I hated about myself. He somehow always found a way to make to see things in his way, not sure how he did that. We stared at each other like no one else was there. I stopped when I thought it was right to speak again. "Last time I had contact with him is before I left. He stayed the night." I saw the flare of anger in both Jax's and Tig's eyes as I said that. "It's not what you two think." I said glancing at both of them. "He did some things that I wasn't fond of." I said as I let a few tears slip. I looked down and I didn't want everyone seeing things I held back. Like the raping, the gang banging, the beatings that made me black out and almost lose my life over. No I wasn't going to let anyone know that yet. And of course let's not forget the part where I almost had to marry him because he had the stupid shit on tape.

"You don't need to look down." I heard Piney, my father figure say to me.

"Thanks, dad." I said.

"Shit you his kid?" Juice exclaimed.

"Boy nothing gets passed him." I said as everyone laughed.

* * *

"So tell me your story." I heard Half Sack say to me as I was racking up the pool table.

"Each time you get a ball in I will tell you something." I said smiling. Opie walked over to us.

"You going to play him?" He asked while watching me.

"Maybe." I said as I smirked knowing that I was going to beat his ass at pool.

"I'm solids." I heard Half Sack say. "I got one in. So tell me something."

"I ran away at fifteen." I said as I got a strip in.

"Why so young?" Half Sack asked.

"You will find out after you sink another ball in." I said as I sunk another strip in.

"Am I getting schooled in pool?" I heard him ask. Opie started to laugh.

"Quite." I said missing the ball.

* * *

"So you ever going to tell me what extacly happened between you and Tig?" Jax asked me as we sat on the roof top of the clubhouse.

"Someday I will. I just wondered why he treated me like a sweetbutt. He always passed me over when a croweater wanted in." I said as I stared at the ground not bothering to look at any stars tonight.

"Maybe you should talk to him about it." Jax said as he got up to leave.

"Don't leave me. Please not like everyone else." I stated as he was getting up to leave.

"No one left, you left." He said harshly as he got up and left leaving me to my thoughts.

"Great." I murmured to myself.

* * *

**Althought I wish I could own SOA I don't, belongs to Kurt Sutter. I only own my OC.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**I'm wishing you were here  
My weakness is my fear  
Alone I am myself  
No reason left for me to care  
Distracted by the sound  
I hear footsteps all around  
Empowered by adrenaline  
Feel I've been born again  
Again, I am repeating myself  
And I know it is kind for you  
To sit and pretend**_

_**Damn Regret – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**_.

I really needed to talk to Gemma. I think Jax was well is still pissed off that I left. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I looked at it. One new text message. _I'll be here when you fuck up again._ I really needed a burner, that way no one could or would get ahold of me. I called Tome and dropped him as my manager. I wasn't coming back to fight for a while. At least until I was feeling ready again and tonight I wasn't. Somehow I felt myself going to Gemma's, I think I needed to clear some things up including Jax. Even if he was serious about us, I don't think that this would be the right time.

"Hey baby." Gemma said as she answered the door. She let me in and I saw Clay with some of the club members.

"I think we need to talk." I said as I sat down at her kitchen table. All the guys that were there looked at me. Like I knew what they were talking about. I saw Piney get up and walk over to us.

"I'm not mad at you for leaving. Some others might be." He said as he looked over at Tig. I knew that already. He was mad that I had left.

"I know he is mad I left. Maybe he shouldn't have treated me the way he did." I said as I glanced at him.

"Are we going to talk or what?" I heard Gemma say as she handed me a cup of green tea.

"Are some still mad at me that I left?" I asked her as she sat down.

"Yeah some are still pretty pissed off." She glanced at Tig. I knew he could hold grudges but I wouldn't be too sure how long it would last. "You know he was a wreck when you left."

"Good. Now he would know how I felt." I said as I stopped looking at him. "However I wanted to know if Jax was still pissed at me for leaving."

"Honey you are going to have to talk to him for that. As well for Tig." Gemma said.

"Yeah I got that. But when I talked to Jax he didn't really want to talk." I said to Gemma as the boys went back to talking.

"He's in a tough spot right now.-" I cut Gemma off.

"You don't think I am going through a tough spot right now. Shit Gemma I didn't even tell the club went really went down I gave the short hand version." I said as I stood up getting pissed off.

"What do you mean short hand version?" I heard Tig ask behind me.

"Do you all honestly think I am going to share everything with you? After everything that I have been though. I'm not sharing anything with you TIg." I said.

"Why did you give us the short hand version?" I heard Piney ask.

"Did you really want to know about all the gang rapings, the beatings, what I got put though every day for almost a year. How you would you feel if you had to marry that creep because he had it all on tape? How about when I had to go to fight I had to cover up what he did the night before or when once just wasn't enough for him? None of you have been though what I went through." I screamed at them.

"We all have been through something like that." Gemma said.

"Gemma no. Don't even act like you have been through it." I said.

"I was raped too." Gemma yelled at me.

"Yeah how many guys? Three, four, how about nine?" I asked her. She looked at me and stayed quiet. "Yeah I was raped by nine different guys at one time. I was also pregnant by one them too." I said as I sat back down. I looked at all of them.

"You need to tell us the whole story." Clay said as he sat down and called Jax and Opie over.

"You need to tell us." I heard Piney say to us.

"Only if Tig isn't around." I said smirking.

They all gathered around the kitchen table. Each one looking at me, waiting for me to speak. "Where do you want me to start again?" I asked as they looked at me.

"Look we just want to know who hurt you." Chibs said.

"Jayson Mack." I said as I sat there and watched everyone's face turn to pissed off. "Don't have to worry about him that much."

"We will handle him." I heard Jax say. He was first one to say anything. I just got up and grabbed Jax and hugged him.

"Thank you." I whispered in his ear.

* * *

They all took off and headed where Jayson was staying. I stayed behind with Gemma.

"Sorry to freak out like that. Just I not used to this." I said as she nodded her head at understanding shit.  
As long as her and I were good nothing else really mattered.

I got in to my car and headed home after talking with Gemma. I still wasn't too sure about Jax and Tig. Opie I wasn't so worried about along with the other guys. I walked into my house and it was a eerie vibe. I flipped on the lights and Tig sitting at my kitchen table scared the shit out of me. "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked him as he got up and went to give me a hug.

"It's all taken care of. You can go back to fighting just let us know when you are leaving again." Tig said to me as he un-hugged me.

"Really? I don't care." I said as I wanted him out.

"Why can't we just talk?" He asked.

"I am done talking to you. I still can't believe you treated me as a sweetbutt." I said to him.

"That was seven years ago. A lot has changed since then. Look I still love you." Tig said.

"Keep your love I don't want it." I said as I led him out the door.

"You don't want to try?" He asked.

"Why? Why try? I know you are going to cheat again. Tig I know about it." I said. "Just when I thought you were serious about us, I was going to get the crow for you but then I didn't. I am glad because I know you will never get me back." I said as I turned away.

"Oh yeah you want to bet that sugar lips?" I heard him say as he walked in to my house again.

* * *

**Again I only own my OC. The rest belong to their respectful owner(s). Thank you to whoever follows, reads, favorited, and or anything else with this story, a big thank you. I love the reviews. Any one seen season five yet? Crazy shit..**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Let me know that I've done wrong,  
When I've known this all along,  
I go around a time or two,  
Just to waste my time with you.  
Tell me all that you've thrown away,  
Find out games you don't wanna play,  
You are the only one that needs to know-  
I'll keep you my dirty little secret,  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret,  
Who has to know**_

_**Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects.**_

I was still pissed off at Tig. "You know I don't regret our first time."

"I don't either but what does this have to do with anything?" I asked.

"Jax is fucking Ima." Tig said straight out.

"I don't care. He isn't mine and I am not his." I stated.

"But you care about him liked you cared about me right?" Tig asked me.

"I don't know." I said.

"Well when you left I was mess." Tig started out.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked. "Because I don't really care."

"I loved you." Tig said.

"Yeah well I don't love you anymore." I said as I finally came to my thoughts. "Get out." I said.

"Why I want to know why you left without telling us." Tig stated before he left.

"I was pregnant with your child." I said to him as I shut the door.

Tig stood on Ryan's front door step letting the words sink though. I was pregnant with your child, kept repeating in his head. Shit he was going to be father for the third time in his life. Fuck he screwed that one up. "I need a drink." He mumbled to himself. He hopped on his bike and drove to the clubhouse.  
Not even caring for the croweaters and sweetbutts that wanted action from him. He only wanted Ryan back but she made it clear she didn't love him anymore. Which meant he couldn't love her anymore even if he tried

* * *

"What you drinking to forget?" Half Sack asked Tig.

"Yeah or just drinking to remember?" Juice asked.

"Fuck you Juice." Tig said as he got up and walked off. Not grabbing anyone just heading to his room.

"What is up with him?" Half Sack asked loudly.

"You want to know why I am pissed? I will tell you. The life of my life Ryan told me she was pregnant with my child. She also told me she doesn't love me anymore like I loved her. I loved her man. She doesn't love me anymore." Tig said as soon as Jax walked in to the door. Tig went crazy.

"Fuck you Jax, if you went Nomad she would still be here in my arms telling me she loves me. Not telling me to my face that she doesn't love me. Jax I hate you." Tig yelled drunkenly at Jax. However Jax stood there and took it all in.

"What the hell are you going on about?"Jax said as he looked at Tig who was super drunk at this point.

"Ryan, she fucking loves you. I know it. She told me she was pregnant and I don't know what else she said to me. But she was pregnant and it was my child. My child Jax. They didn't get to live." Tig yelled again.

"Maybe something happened to her and she didn't tell you." Jax said as he tried to calm down his now mumbling drunk friend.

"No Jax I don't want your help. You took her away from me." Tig said as he pushed himself away from Jax and walked drunkenly to his dorm.

"Fuck." Jax yelled at everyone looked around the room witnessing just what the hell happened.

A buzzing sound pulled me from my thoughts. I couldn't believe I just came out there and told him that I was expecting his child. I never told anyone that before, besides Donna before I left. She swore never to tell a soul as long as she lived. No pun intended. I looked at the buzzing sound again. I noticed it came from inside my pocket. One new text message. _He went on a binge, he's dead._ Knowing it was Tome, meaning he found Jayson dead body.  
I went to my room to try to sleep. I knew that tonight's sleep wouldn't be easy.

* * *

I woke up to pounding on my door. I slowly got out of bed and walked to my door only in my sleep shirt which barely covered my ass. It was one of Jax's old tee shirts that I still had around. The pounding at the door continued. "Shit I am coming." I yelled to the person on the other side of the door. I walked up to the door and opened it.

"Good morning darlin' I think we need a talk." I heard the voice say to me.

"About what Jax?" I said as I turned to let him in.

I felt his eyes roam my body. "Is that one of my shirts?" He asked.

"Yeah found it in the closet. Along with this." I said as I went to grab a box.

"What's this?" He asked as he picked it up. He held in his hands the book the manual as some would call it to SAMCRO. He stared at me as he read over the title. _The Life And Death Of Sam Crow: How The Sons Anarchy Lost Their Way. "_Is this the book that I thought Gemma got a hold of?"

"I just found it, thought you might want it. I don't have a use for it." I said as I grabbed a pair of sleep shorts on.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell us?" I heard him ask.

"What? That a seventeen year old was pregnant with a thirty year old child? It doesn't matter anyway. I ended up losing it." I said as I sat down.

"We would have helped you, you know that." He told me.

"Yeah but I was too young for a child, and he always passed me over for a croweater. That's why I just went up and left. I wasn't ready. Thought it would have been better if I just left." I said sadly.

"Did you fuck anyone else besides me and Tig?" Jax asked.

"Nope just you and Tig. Are you still mad that I left?" I asked him.

I saw him look over at me and then he said, "I still not sure. I mean we can't pick up where we left off. I wish we could but we just can't"

* * *

"You know I know about you his late night shit." I heard Gemma said as I walked out of the kitchen.

"What do you mean?" I asked playing the innocence card.

"You and Jax. I know when Tig shot you down each time, you went for him. Even when he was with Tara. Yeah I heard a couple of nights about what went down with you too." She said as she laughed.

I shrugged. "Shit happens."

"Yeah but you too are destined to be together. SAMCRO Prince and SAMCRO Princess. You know its only right." Gemma said.

* * *

**I only own my OC. The rest belong to their respectful owner(s). Thanks for the reviews. I am glad you guys are liking it. Thank you.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear  
So tell me now if this ain't love then how do we get out? 'Cause I don't know**_

_**Savior – Rise Against.**_

The words of Gemma Teller- Morrow rang in my head. It's only right that SAMCRO Prince and SAMCRO Princess only be together. I was kind of sort of the adopted daughter of Piney. They always thought of me as the first daughter of the Original Nine. Jackson being only the other child of the Original Nine too. It was only right. That way when we have children, they would carry on SAMCRO.

"What you thinking?" I heard Chibs ask me as I sat on the bar stool.

"Some shit Gemma said. That Jax and I belong together." I said as I slipped my water.

"Really? It does seem right. But it's up to you." I heard Bobby say to us.

"Grandma. Grandma." I heard a blond haired boy say.

"Abel. My what brings you here?" I heard Gemma ask the little boy.

"Daddy." He said. As soon as Jax walked through that door I left. I see I wasn't the only one holding back shit. Why the hell did he not tell me he had a son? As if I couldn't tell he was the splitting image of him.

"Hold on Ryan where are you going?" I heard Jax yell to me.

"Out of here." I said to him.

"Why I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how long you were going to stick around." He said to me.

"Fuck that. You could have told me each time you seen me. Jax I know we can't change what happened and I don't want to change it." I said as I slid in to my car.

"You saw her more than once while she was away? You didn't bother to tell anyone?" Piney said to Jax as I tore out of the clubhouse lot.

"Yeah I seen her while she was away. It doesn't matter now. She hates me." Jax said to Piney.

* * *

As l walked the short distance to my walk way to my house. Everything was fucked up. Jax had a kid named Abel. Opie had two kids, Ellie and Kenny. They were still pissed at me for leaving at least Gemma wasn't. I sat down at my kitchen table. A knock at the door brought me out of my thoughts.

"Ryan Winston?" The lady at the door asked me. Using my adopted name.

"Yeah what do you want?" I asked.

"Here. It's your eviction notice." She said as she walked away.

"Fuck." I yelled. Could things get worse.

* * *

"We need to talk to her. She isn't telling the whole story." Piney said.

"She won't you everything. She will only tell you what you need to know." Opie said.

"I could tell you some things. But I would need her here." Jax said as he walked in.

"What do you mean you need her here?" Piney asked.

"I spoke with her a couple of times while she was away. She told me most of her past and what happened." Jax said.

Jax sat there and told them everything he knew about Ryan Winston.

"Shit she went through all of that." Opie said as he walked out.

"Yup. Raped, beaten, left on the side of the road to die, shit she has mostly been through it all." Jax and she was still living through to tell the story.

"Tig are you still mad at her for leaving?" Piney asked.

"Yeah somewhat. I just don't get it why she wouldn't tell me." TIg said.

"She was seventeen you were thirty. Did you ever look at her as an Old Lady?" Jax asked getting super pissed off.

"Yeah I did. She never seemed to want to be with me." Tig said.

"I always wanted to be with you. You didn't give me the time of day." I said finally walking into the room. I heard everything and I was glad that I had told Jax mostly everything I knew I wouldn't be able to.

"What?" Tig said looking at me.

"I told you that I was willing to get the crow for you. But I swear you have a fear of one woman." I said.

* * *

"Thank you Jax for telling them. I don't think I ever would have." I said to him as he dropped me off at my house.

"It's no problem. What's this?" He asked as he pulled a piece of paper off my door.

"I don't know. I haven't seen it before." I said as I read what he was holding.

"Dear SAMCRO Princess just wanted to let you know I am watching you." Jax said as he read the lines over.

"It's fine, I won't be living here long anymore anyways." I said as we walked in to my empty house.

"Where you going to go?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe move in with dad or Opie." I said as I kicked an empty box around.

"Move in with Abel and I." Jax said as he smiled at me.

"You sure? That's not going to interfere in anything?" I asked.

"No. Plus he needs some women in his life." Jax said.

"You know this is not going to help us get closer." I said to him as he was turning out to leave.

"Yeah but it might work." I heard him say before he walked out.

* * *

**Again I only own my OC. The rest belong to their respectful owner(s)**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Live for something, just don't die for nothing.**_

Jax seemed happy that Ryan moved in with him. In fact it seemed that everyone was happy that Ryan had finally seem to get things together. Her life seemed to be back to normal and falling into place. Everyone was happy she was back, but not everyone was rainbows and sunshine when it came to Ryan moving in with Jax. Tig wasn't happy either was Tara.

"You know I am not happy with her living here with Abel." I heard Tara whisper harshly to Jax.

"Daddy." I heard Abel whine.

"Abel baby lets go play with trucks." I said taking him away from any fights that may occur. I seen Jax mouth thank you. I only smiled.

"Why don't you like her?" Jax asked her.

"She is going to take you from me. And we can't have that." Tara said as she tried running her hands up and down his chest. "I know I fucked up. I still want to be with you. Plus we have to make it work for us."

Oh shit, she is playing the pregnancy card. "Hell no." I said walking out.

"What? You know." Tara said as she looked at me.

"There is no way in hell you are fucking pregnant." I screamed at her.

"Fuck, fuck," Abel came running out and yelling.

"Abel we don't say that word." Jax said as he looked at me.

"Gemma." Was I said. Jax walked up to us.

"Can I trust you not to lay your hands on her?" I got asked as he looked at me.

"I won't touch her." I said as I looked her over.

"She can't touch me." Tara said.

"Fine I will be right back." Jax said as he grabbed Abel and took off to Gemmas.

* * *

"You expecting?" I asked with a sneer.

"Yeah, I bet TIg isn't too happy you are here. Living with Jax and his child." Tara said as she sat down.

"I don't care for him." I said.

"Well just so you know when he does find out that it's is child I am carrying you won't be around long." Tara said.

"You are lucky I promised him I wouldn't touch you." I said as I got up and left the table. I walked in to the living room. I flipped on the tv. I started to watch some tv. I looked over in the kitchen table room and seen Tara texting on her phone. She soon got up and left, without her phone. I looked around for her and checked her phone. I saw the messages, to Tig.

**She's living with him now. But not to worry she brought the act.** Oh my god. She isn't pregnant. She is playing him just to stay with him. Her phone buzzed in my hand. I couldn't help but read the message. **Good. Ryan will be mine soon. So far it is working.** Tara came back.

"What are you doing with my phone?" She asked.

"It went off. I was going to bring it to you. Thought it might be a call." I said. Hoping to save my ass.

"Oh okay, thanks." She said grabbing the phone from my hand. God that was close. I hope to god Jax got back soon.

* * *

"What the hell? You have Ryan living with you?" Tig yelled at Jax when he got to Gemmas.

"Yeah I do, she didn't have anywhere else to go." Jax yelled to him.

"Fucker." Abel said. For a two year old his language was very colorful.

"We don't say that word Abel." Jax said to Abel.

"You do. Daddy all the time." Abel said back.

"Please don't say it anymore. Go find grandma." Jax said to the two year old as he ran off.

"Why is Ryan living with you?" Tig growled at Jax.

"I honestly thinks she hates you right now. She knows you are still pissed at her for leaving. When you know she didn't want too. You pushed her into leaving." Jax said as he defended her leaving Charming.

"But I don't get why she would leave Charming." TIg said as he sat down like he was defeated for once.

* * *

Jax walked back in to the house. It was quiet. He seen Tara at the front of the kitchen table while Ryan was sitting at the other end of the table.

"Honey you are back." Tara said. Wrapping her arms around him.

"Fucker." I mumbled to myself.

"She was close to hitting me." Tara said as she hugged him.

"Honestly you should ask yourself who is the one lying here." I said getting up to leave.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked. He let go of Tara.

"I know she ain't expecting." I said.

"Tara are you lying to me?" Jax asked seriously.

"No I wouldn't lie to you ever. Ryan just wants you back." Tara said.

"Fuck you." I said.

I got outside and walked out. I saw the messages. How could see just lie to his face? That I would never understand.

"I don't want her living here when this is born." I heard Tara say to Jax.

"I can't just let her leave and not go anywhere. She was my friend back then." Jax said.

"This isn't back then. This isn't when she fucked Opie. This isn't when she fucked Tig either." Tara yelled at him.

Fuck I thought to myself. I called Opie. "Hello?" He answered.

"Did you tell anyone about us?" I asked. Here's the deal we did fuck once. But that was way before the whole I am adopting you as my daughter so this is your new sister. It was a drunken night.

"Yeah I told Donna. But that was a long time ago. She wasn't mad or anything." Opie said from the other end of the phone.

"Great Tara fucking knows. Now Jax knows." I said.

"Fuck I didn't want him finding out." He said as he sighed on the phone.

"I know. Look I got to go." I said and hung up.

"You told me you didn't fuck another Son." Jax stated off.

"He-" I started off.

"Why didn't you tell me? You knew I had felt something for you, but you fucked Opie. My best friend." Jax said as he looked at me.

"He wasn't a Son at the time. And it was way before we even met. One drunken night okay." I said as I threw my hands up.

"I don't care I want you out." Jax said.

"Where I am supposed to go? Plus you fucked her and she is staying. You fucked her back then too while I was with you." I said as tears started to form in my eyes.

"I know, but she is expecting my child." Jax said. "I can't kick her out now."

"Yes, you can. Make her test. But you know what forget it. I am out." I said getting up and walking to my car. If he wasn't going to be believe me then I don't know what I would do. Somehow I found myself back at his house. I didn't know what I was doing there. His lights were still on and I knew he was still up.

* * *

"Ryan what are you doing here?" He asked.

"He kicked me out." I said but it came out as a mess.

"Come in." He said. I never thought that I Ryan Vega-Winston would find myself back in his house. Again.

* * *

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).**


	10. Chapter 10

_**I watched it all up close I knew him more than most I saw a side of him he never showed Full of sympathy for a world that wouldn't let him be  
That's the man he was Have you heard enough?  
What a shame, what a shame**_  
_**What A Shame- Shinedown.**_

I opened my eyes the next morning. I couldn't remember anything that happened. Where am I? I asked myself before getting up and walking out.

"Good morning sunshine." I heard from behind me.

"Why the hell am I here?" I asked. Not bothering to look around. I knew where I was as soon as I heard his voice.

"Oh you don't remember last night do you?" He asked.

"Bits and parts." I said. "How did I get here?"

"You drove here from Jaxs. He kicked you out. Tara is expecting his child." He said.

"Great." I said out loud to myself.

"Oh it was." He said.

"Going in to the shop today?" I asked.

"Nope, plan on being here with you, so we can talk." He said as he sat down in the living room.

"I don't want to talk to you. Tig there was reason why you and I never worked out." I said.

"Why? If you were so willing to get the crow for me then why didn't you?" He asked.

"I knew I wouldn't stick around here. I would have left." I said. I was finally breaking down and I was letting it out.

"Were you pregnant when you left?" Tig asked me as he scooted closer to me.

"No, I didn't. I found out when I was about five months along. I wasn't showing." I said.

"What happened? Did you lose it?" He asked.

"Yeah, Jayson made me lose it when he beat me so" I said. I started tearing up that I couldn't even finish my sentence. Tig started to wrap his arms around me.

"It's going to be okay. Everything will be fine."

* * *

It has been three months since Jax kicked me out. I have been living with my daddy and Opie sometimes. Everything hasn't gone back to normal between Jax and I. I mean yes we do talk but not much.

"You busy tonight?" I heard Gemma ask me.

"No. Why?" I asked.

"Family dinner tonight. You are coming." Gemma said.

"Is Tara going to be there?" I asked.

"Yes why? Did something happened between you two?" Gemma asked.

"You could say that." I said walking out.

"I wonder what." Gemma said. She started to follow me out.

* * *

Opie and I walked in to Gemma's house. "I brought cookies." I said as I handed Gemma the cookies.

"Thank you." Gemma said as she put them in the kitchen. I walked over to where Tara was with another girl. Damn bitch didn't look no five months pregnant.

"Isn't it great being pregnant?" The girl asked Tara.

"It's the greatest feeling ever." Tara replied. Then Abel came running in.

"Mommy RyRy." Abel said running to my legs.

"Abel honey. How are you?" I asked picking him up.

"You need to drop my son." Tara said as she walked up to us.

"No mommy RyRy." Abel said. Mommy RyRy was his nickname for me. The time I stayed at Jax's I was like a mom to him.

"Drop him." Tara sneered at me.

"Fuck you." I said back. I let Abel on the ground and told him to go play with Kenny and Ellie.

Jax walked in and he could sense the tension between us.

"You know for being five months pregnant you sure don't look it." I said loudly so everyone could hear. Their little plan was going to go down. I was sure of it.

"Tara your pregnant?" Gemma said as she took the bottle of beer from her. "You shouldn't be drinking this then."

"I was holding it for Jax. Right honey?" Tara asked. She took the beer from Gemma and gave it to Jax.

"Then you wouldn't mind peeing on a stick for me then? You know I can't trust you." Gemma said as she handed her the pregnancy test.

"Sure. I don't mind." Tara said as she motioned for the other girl to come with her.

"Alone." I said smirking. She just looked at me. "She could be pregnant and you couldn't be."

"Whatever." She said walking to the bathroom.

* * *

"How's that book?" I asked Jax.

"It really makings me think. This isn't what my dad had plan." He said as he lit up a smoke.

"You mean the gun running? You mean the shit you are doing now?" I asked.

"Yeah I think so." Jax said as he took a puff and handed it over to me.

"He wanted better from you. From you and Thomas." I said. I had briefly heard about Thomas from Opie and Jax. I wished I could have met him.

"Yeah I know, you know I am sorry that I kicked you out. I just thought it would have been better you know? Plus I know you hate Tara after what she did to me and you. And everything that she has put us throught and after she-" Jax was cut off by my lips.

It took him a while to kiss back. But he was kissing back and his hands where fisted in my hair. His tongue found my parted lips and soon we were battling for dominance. His hands roamed to where one of his hands where on my hip and the other on was my ass. My arms were wrapped around his neck. "You know, oh shit." I heard Tig say. We broke apart. "Do you just fuck anything with two legs?"

"I am not yours. I am not his. It just happened." I said as I walked in.

"She lied." Gemma said as she said down on the couch. Tara walked in the living room.

"You whore. You can't just fuck three of them you have to fuck Jax too? I swear you are such a whore." Tara said.

I went into fight mode again. I smacked her hard across the face. She started fighting me back. Kicked and yelling. I shoved her down and got on top her and started pouching her face. I heard a crack and blood covered my hands and her face. "This wasn't a part of the plan." She yelled.

"What plan?" Gemma said as she stood.

"To get Jax back. Tig made me promise to work." Tara yelled.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Also I did put a picture of what I wanted Ryan to look like. It is on my profile.**


	11. Chapter 11

_**I need serenity  
In a place where I can hide  
I need serenity  
Nothing changes, days go by  
Where do we go when we just don't know  
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold?  
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing  
And when will we learn to control?**_

_**Serenity – Godsmack.**_

I stood at the bathroom mirror after getting out of the shower. Running my hands over my stomach slightly, noticing a bump. Oh shit was my first thought. I called St. Thomas and made an appointment. Shit this couldn't come at a worse timing. I quickly got dressed and headed over to St. Thomas.

"Ryan Vega?" The nurse called out.

"Winston." I said walking to her.

"Right, I will have to change that we still have Vega on file." Rita the nurse said.

"Thanks." I said.

"Now from what you said you think you are expecting, but you weren't sure right?" Rita asked me as she filled out the forms.

"Yeah, I noticed that I was growing a bump and I just wanted to make sure." I said.

"We can check." Rita said. "Let me get the doctor."

* * *

"Where's Ryan?" Tig asked Jax.

"Why the fuck would you want to know?" Jax said as he got up in Tig's face.

"Guys relax." Juice said as he stepped in between the two.

"What has gotten in to you two?" Clay roared over them two fighting.

"He can't, he doesn't have feeling for Ryan." Tig yelled as he was getting pulled back by Opie and Juice.

"I fell for her before she left." Jax yelled to him.

"Bullshit, you were with Tara." Tig said.

"Fuck you I cheated on her with Ryan." Jax said.

"She was carrying my child." Tig yelled.

"She wasn't sure when she left." Jax yelled. This was news to Tig.

"She told me she didn't know. She didn't know she was expecting." Tig roared over the sound of a car pulling in to the lot, a very pissed off driver exiting the car.

* * *

I walked into T-M lot. Holding what was sonograms from the doctor's office. I was in fact pregnant. Five months along. I opened the door and seen Gemma at the office. I put the pictures of the child that was growing me on the desk.

"Baby, what's this?" She asked picking them up.

"I thought I should come to you first seeing how you would like to know." I said. She looked at me confused and slowly opened the folder.

"OMG! Ryan." She yelled excitedly. The guys came running in after Gemma yelled. They all walked in, thinking something bad happened.

"Glad you think it is." I said as I sat down saying it to myself more than anything.

"What is it honey?" Clay asked.

"Can I tell them?" Gemma asked.

"I'm pregnant." I said as Tig and Jax bolted from the room.

* * *

We were all sitting the table in the clubhouse. No sweetbutts or croweaters around.

"Are you going to keep it?" Chibs asked.

"Yeah I am." I said. No one heard a word from Tig or Jax as it was been over four and a half hours since I announced I was pregnant.

"Has anyone heard from Jax or Tig?" Bobby asked breaking the quietness.

"No, I haven't seen him either. I looked all over." Gemma said as she walked in to the clubhouse. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine." I said as I was far from the truth.

"I found Tig." Piney said as he was off the phone.

"Let me guess shooting place?" I asked.

"How did you know?" Piney asked.

"He always went there when things didn't go right. I didn't think of it first." I said.

"Now we just need Jax." Clay said as he pulling out his cigar. Lighting it up.

"I'm sure he bound to show up. I should get home." I said.

"Let me drive you. Half Sack follow us. I need a ride back." Piney said.

"Okay." I said, knowing better then to fight with my dad.

* * *

"Thanks again for the ride." I said to Piney.

"You're welcome Blackout. You aren't going to fight when you're like this right?" Piney asked.

"No, I am on a leave of absence. For now." I said.

"Okay, just take it easy." Piney said as he got in to the van with Half Sack.

"I will." I said.

"Take care of my grandchild." He said before Half Sack pulled out of the drive way.

I walked in to my house. I just had gotten to it recently. After everything that happened I thought it was better if I got a place on my own.

"So are far along are you?" I heard from the side of me.

"Jackson Teller. You scared the shit out of me." I yelled to him. "About five months."

"Is it mine?" He asked walking up to me.

"I'm not sure." I said.

"You aren't sure?" He yelled at me.

"I don't know if I want to wait until they are born or I just don't know." I said.

"I'm sorry. Did they find Tig?" Jax asked.

"Yeah, shooting range." I said.

"Does he want to be there for him or her?" Jax asked.

I looked at him. "Honestly after I said I was pregnant, you two bolted and I just didn't know what to do."

"Well this is the second time you are and you aren't sure who the dad was last time." Jax said.

"Tig was the father of the first child. After the accident, they told me he had curly hair and it was black. But he had my eyes." I said as I started to cry.

"Come. Let's go to bed." Jax said as he pulled me up from the couch.

"Who has Abel tonight?" I asked.

"Neeta. Why?" Jax said.

"Do you think I could watch him for a while, you know get the hang of mother hood?" I asked.

"Anytime." Jax said as he laid down with me and watched her sleep.

"I wish I was there for you." Jax whispered before he let the sleep take over him.

* * *

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).**


	12. Chapter 12

_**But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I wont live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you is impossible to find.  
You're impossible to find  
This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed  
But I have loved you from the start.**_

_**Fall For You – Secondhand Serenade.**_

Jax woke up before Ryan did. He watched her sleep. The sheet fell over the side of her and he could see how much her bigger her stomach was already. His hand started to rub over where her children lay rested. "God, I fell before you left Charming and now you are back fucking with my emotions." Jax said as he laid down, his hands still resting on Ryan's stomach. She moved closer to him and he felt his jeans tighten. Damn it he thought. He looked over at her and she still laid peaceful, still sleeping. "God you are so beautiful." He found himself saying to her while she was sleeping. Her phone rang breaking the silence of the morning. He quietly slipped out of bed and checked her phone. It was a text message from Tig. **Am I the father? Or is it Jax? Need to know soon.** Jax just hit the eased button. She didn't need to hear from him today.

"Good morning." He heard from his behind.

"Morning darlin" Jax said as he turned around. She was a sight to see in the morning. Her hair was a mess, her make- up was ruined but that just made her stand out more. Her shirt rose slightly above her when she stood up.

"What do I have something on my face?" She asked as she sprinted from the bed in to the bathroom.

"No you just looked cute. You could say I was admiring the view." Jax said.

I laughed at him. "I am not a pretty sight in the morning Jax. Don't give me that shit." I said.

"Yeah you are. Pretty beautiful if you ask me. Your hair a mess, your make-up ruined, the way you cuddle at night with me. You are a beautiful sight." Jax said as he wrapped his arms around me.

As he wrapped his arms around me I wished I didn't have to throw up. I pushed his hands and arms away as I throw up in the toilet. "Morning sickness already?" He asked.

"Yeah. Welcome to fatherhood." I said. My voice muffled from the toilet.

* * *

"How's she holding up?" Clay asked.

"Pretty good." Jax said as he got to work.

"Does she know who the father is?" Juice asked.

"Nope. She's not sure who it is." Jax said.

"Well I hope it isn't Tig. God knows he doesn't need another kid running around." Piney said as he waltzed in to the garage. "I think you and Tig need a serious talk."

"Yeah man, you could help with the way things are with Ryan" Chibs said as his accent came through thickly.

"Maybe." Jax said as Gemma and Ryan walked in to the office.

"I'm gonna be right back." Jax said as he walked into the office.

As soon as Jax walked off, Tig walked in.

"Where the hell have you been?" Chibs asked him.

"Shooting range. You know, I like it there." Tig said.

"Twins?" Gemma yelled.

"Ah shit. Twins" Tig said.

"Twins?" Jax said as he walked out noticing Tig was there.

"Man, I think we need to talk." Tig said as Jax walked to him.

"Yeah we do." Jax said.

* * *

They both walked to the clubhouse, the area that was used for Church is where they talked.

"What do you want with Ryan?" Jax asked. That was the first thing out of his mouth.

"I want to know who the father of her twins is now. You know see if I could step up." Tig said.

"No, I meant do you want to be with her?" Jax asked as he took a seat at the table.

"I want too but I see the way she looks at you." Tig said.

"What do you mean the way she looks at me?" Jax asked.

"It's the same way Gemma looks at Clay. It's the same way she looked at me with she did love me. Man she still loved me. I still love her." Tig said as he paced the table length.

"You think she is in love with me?" Jax asked getting up and facing Tig.

"No I know it." Tig said.

"I think you let her go." Jax said.

"Yeah I think so. But I wish she was here just to talk to us. About this." Tig said.

"There is one thing she told me last night." Jax said.

"You were with her last night?" Tig asked. "I thought we made it clear not to see her."

"We did but she told me she knew it was your child she lost." Jax said as he sat back down.

"She did? I thought she didn't know?" Tig said.

"She told me he had curly black hair but her eyes. She got to see him." Jax said.

"Why wouldn't see tell me?" Tig asked himself.

"You have to ask her." Jax said.

"Ask me what?" I said as I entered the room.

"Why didn't you tell me about him? Our child?" Tig said.

"It was hard enough. I saw him and he was the splitting of you Tig. I don't know why I didn't tell you, but he had black hair and my eyes." I said. Tears filled the rims of my eyes.

"Did you name him?" Tig asked.

"Yeah Nathan James Trager." I said him. It finally clicked in both their heads. That tattoo of the flower in the mud.

"The flower in the mud?" Jax said as he got up.

"Prettiness in ugliness." I said to them. "His name is in there too."

Finally everything was back to normal. Tig had finally let me go. Jax well I wasn't too sure what was going on there. As I rubbed my stomach I knew what was certain. I loved my children no matter who the father was. No one was going to tell me differently.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Thanks for the reviews and everthing else. Thank you..**


	13. Chapter 13

_**How do I live without the ones I love?**_

_**Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.**_

_**Place and time always on my mind.**_

_**I have so much to say but you're so far away. **_

_**Plans of what our futures hold**_

_**Foolish lies of growin' old**_

_**It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold.**_

_**So Far Away – Avenged Sevenfold.**_

I don't know why or how but for some reason I found myself sitting at Donna's grave for the second or third time. I ran my hands down my face. "I am so screwed Donna. I don't know what I am going to do. I mean I want Jax to be the father, but I also want Tig to have the chance you know?" I said finding myself talking to the headstone. I silently found myself weeping at her grave. "I am so sorry. I should have been there. You shouldn't have gotten shot." I said to her more than myself.

"It wasn't your fault." I heard from behind me.

"What do you mean?" I asked the voice not recognizing it right away.

"It was Tig. He shot her." Opie said as he sat next to me.

"Tig killed her?" I said.

"Yeah Clay ordered it. He thought I was a rat. He's been living with the guilt." Opie said as he sat next to me.

"Oh. I hope you got him back." I said.

"I did. Along with Agent Stahl." Opie said.

"Oh, I remember something saying something about that." I said.

"Yeah, so twins huh?" Opie asked.

"Yeah twins. You know for being pregnant the second time this time is feels different." I said.

"Like how?" Opie asked.

"Last time I didn't know. I didn't know I was but when they told me, he was looked just liked TIg. I don't know if I can handle that again." I said. This has been one of the first times that Opie and I really had the chance to talk.

"Why did you come back?" Opie asked.

"Honestly, before Donna died she sent me a letter. She thought I could get you away from this life." I said.

"Really she never told me that." Opie said shockingly.

"We stayed in contact while you were on runs. She never told me about the kids, Op. We mostly talked about other things. She thought that I could talk you out of this life but now that I see you in it, I wouldn't change it." I said.

"Why? Donna would have if she had the chance." Opie said.

"I'm not Donna and it's family." I said.

* * *

"Ryan, I think we need to talk." Half Sack said as he grabbed me and went to the dorms to talk.

"What do you mean we need to talk?" I said.

"I don't know if you know this but we all seen Jax with Tara lately." Half Sack started off.

"I don't care. I am not his and he isn't mine." I said.

"Well-" Half Sack started to talk again.

"I don't care." I said. I got up and walked off.

"Juicy boy, you think we could talk?" I asked him.

"Sure." He said. We walked outside to the shady area. "How's the babies doing?" He asked.

"Good, have you seen Jax with Tara lately?" I asked him getting right to the point.

"No, far as I know he has been at the garage or home with Abel." Juice said looking at me. "Why?"

"Half Sack said he has been hanging around Tara and I just thought." I said trailing off when I seen Jax and Abel come up to us.

"See you later." Juice said walking off.

* * *

"Mommy RyRy." Abel said running to me.

"Careful of the babies." Jax yelled to Abel.

"Babies? Where?" Abel said as he looked around.

"Mommy RyRy is expecting some babies to come." I said to Abel. He pointed to my stomach. "There in here. Do you want to feel them move?" I asked him. He nodded his little head excitedly. I put his hands on my stomach and he grinned just like Jax. "I swear you are just like your daddy." Abel only laughed as the babies kicked his hands.

"Looks like they are enjoying each other." Gemma said.

"Yeah, ma they are." Jax said.

"Did you and Tig talk things out?" Gemma said to her son, who stared at Ryan in amazement.

"Yeah we sort of worked things out. At least we hope so." The blonde haired biker said to his mother.

"You think so? What does he plan about Ryan? Knowing he was a mess after she left." Gemma said.

"Yeah he let her go. Thinking she is in love with me." Jax said as he glanced over at his mother seeing the smile on her face. "Don't get an idea."

"I won't but know this Jax, she fell for you before she left." Gemma said walking in to the office leaving her son stunned at what he just heard.

* * *

"Have you found out yet?" Tig asked Ryan as he walked to the shady area.

"Abel go find grandma." I said to Abel. Abel took off running to the clubhouse and laughing.

"What was that about?" Tig asked.

"I haven't found out yet and how could you kill her?" I asked.

"Kill who?" Tig asked playing dumb.

"You know who. Opie told me." I said thought gritted teeth.

"Shit, you weren't supposed to find out. Opie was supposed to be in the truck, not her." Tig said as he sat down.

"I don't care. Just the fact that you didn't think about it and you just went off and –" I was cut off by a pair of lips on mine. I shoved Tig off. "Don't you fucking touch me again."

"Ryan wait. That was wrong." Tig said as he shoved his hands in pockets.

"Damn right it was." I said as I walked to Jax.

"What was that about?" I heard Jax ask me.

"He kissed me. I shoved him off." I said hugging Jax.

"You know you are getting bigger." Jax said.

"I know, I either have Trager or a Teller in here." I said rubbing my stomach.

"Can I?" Jax asked as he pointed to my stomach. I let him rub my stomach finally feeling good about this. Soon Abel came running up to us.

"Daddy, Mommy. Help me. Grandma tickled me." Abel said running and laughing at us.

"Where's Jax? We need him." Juice said as Clay and him walked in to the office area.

"Don't ruin a family moment." Gemma said as they all watched as Jax and Ryan laughed and they finally looked like a family.

"Let's leave them be."

* * *

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).**


	14. Chapter 14

_**I've been waiting all day to wrap my hands**_

_**Around your waist and kiss your face**_

_**Wouldn't trade this feeling for nothing**_

_**Not even for a minute**_

_**And I'll sit here long as it takes**_

_**To get you all alone**_

_**But as soon as you come walking my way**_

_**You gon hear me say**_

_**There Goes My Baby – Usher.**_

Gemma and I walked up to St. Thomas. "Ryan have you figured out who you are going to be with?"

"Yeah I think so." I said as I smiled.

"Really? Who?" Gemma asked as we walked into St. Thomas. We both seen the boys and one on them made me smile like there was no tomorrow. "Ah I think I already know." Gemma said as she caught her son having that stupid goofy look on his face.

"Ladies." Tig said. I was still mad him for killing Donna but I shouldn't hold it over his head for it.

"Tig." I said without any emotion in my voice.

"Ryan, Ma." Jax said as the nurse came over to us.

"Jax." I said cheerfully. The nurse looked over at us and then the clipboards.

"DNA testing?" Rita the nurse asked us.

"Yeah. Needs to be done." I said walking away from them.

"Okay, well this is how it would work out. We would test the mother in this case it's you, then we would test the father. We would send them in and let you know in couple of days." Rita said.

"Do you think it could be sooner like within the hour or so?" I asked.

"I can check." Rita said.

She swabbed my check and then she left to get the boys in. She swabbed Tig's check and then she swabbed Jax's check. "Okay let me get these in and then we can check you out Ms. Winston." Rita said to us.

"Thank you." I said.

* * *

"Going back to Winston now are we?" Tig asked.

"Yup." I said popping the p.

"You still mad that I did that aren't you?" Tig asked me. Then he looked over at Jax.

"Yeah but it was a club choice." I said.

"No it wasn't it was Clay's. He made the hit on her." Jax said. "The Club had nothing to do with it."

"Alright they are in." Rita said as she walked back in.

"Okay, now to check me out right?" I asked.

"Yes, do you want both men in here?" Rita asked pointing to each one.

"Well one of them is the father so I guess it wouldn't hurt to have them both in." I said.

She got me up on the table and Jax was on one side of me and Tig was on the other side of me. She got out the jelly and started to rub it on my stomach. "What's that for?" Tig asked.

"The jelly?" Rita asked him.

"Duh to see the babies." I answered while laughing. "Has it been that long Trager?" I asked him.

For the first time we got to hear the babies heart beats, hell we even got more pictures of what I was rising. Gemma would be so proud. Then a doctor knocked on the door. "Rita do you think I could talk to you for a second. This test came back odd." The doctor said to her.

"Sure be right there. Excuse me." Rita said. She got up and left the room. I cleaned myself of the jelly and sat up.

* * *

"Which one wants to play father?" I asked looking at Jax then Tig. They didn't say nothing at all. "I thought so."

"Ms. Winston do you think we could talk alone? I think it is best if I speak with you first about the testing." Rita said as she walked back in.

"Sure." I said. I shoved the guys out of the room and she began to speak to me about the odd test results.

"You have to be shitting me." I said to her.

"Afraid not, Ms. Winston." Rita said.

* * *

"She kick you guys out?" Gemma asked as she both boys walk out from the doors.

"No the nurse said it was better if she speaks with her first." Tig said as he sat down.

"We got pictures. And to hear the heart beats." Jax said as he sat down.

"I bet that was great." Gemma said. She was mad that she didn't get to hear it with them. But she understood why she didn't get the chance seeing how it was just DNA testing.

"Trust me it was pretty boring." Tig said.

"Who wants to play father?" Gemma said. It was scary to think that Ryan and Gemma were becoming alike. Tig started to laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Ryan said the same extract thing before we let." Jax said as he started to laugh. Gemma just smiled.

"She will be good to take over as Queen. You know that right boys?" Gemma said.

"Yeah, but who says your passing it down." Tig said.

"One day. One day I will." Gemma said.

Jax was about to say something when out Ryan came. With a look of shock on her face.

"Well?" Gemma asked.

Ryan just started to walk out the door to the car.

* * *

Ryan kept quiet on the way home from St. Thomas.

"Do you know who the father is?" Gemma asked. As we pulled in to the T-M lot.

"For fucks sake yes." I said.

"Well why aren't you telling us?" Gemma asked.

"Looks like Ryan is yelling at Gem." Bobby said to Clay. The two ladies walked out of the car.

"She needs it." Clay said as he watched what was happening in the car.

"Well why are you not telling us?" Gemma said as her voice carried out through the car.

"Cause you don't need to know everything first. This is my family too. They need to know more then you right now." I said to her.

"That could be my grandchild you are carrying." Gemma said. "Tara would of told me if Jax was the father of hers."

"Too bad she didn't and she wasn't even expecting. Why can't you just let it rest until I tell them." I yelled to her walking in to the clubhouse. "Bitch." I muttered under my breath.

"You know she heard you most likely." I heard from behind me to see Piney.

"I don't really care right now." I said rubbing my stomach. I had a habit of rubbing it when I was bothered by something.

"You are bothered aren't you?" Piney asked. He picked up on that habit of noticing that I rub my stomach when I was bothered by something.

"Yeah but I just don't know how to tell them." I said.

"Well who is the father?" Piney asked. I whispered it in his ear. "No fucking way."

"Yeah, now how do I tell them that?" I asked.

"Tell who what?" I looked over and seen TIg and Jax.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Again thanks for the reviews and I hope you have enjoyed it so far.**


	15. Chapter 15

_**I miss that town  
I miss the faces  
You can't erase  
You can't replace it  
I miss it now  
I can't believe it  
So hard to stay  
Too hard to leave it**_

**_If I could I relive those days_**  
**_I know the one thing that would never change_**

_**Photograph - Nickelback.**_

This was really hard for me to tell them. I mean it's not unusal that this happens right? Well at least that is what Rita told me. I just haven't figured out a way to tell them. We should have used protection but it was just in the heat of the moment. Fuck, I found myself saying over and over again. Of course that is what got me in to this position. A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Mommy RyRy." I heard Abel running and rubbing my stomach.

"I hope you don't mind I brought him over. He has been wanting to see you." I heard from the kitchen. I peeked into the kitchen seeing it was just Gemma. She was the last person I wanted to see.

"What do you want Gem?" I asked going back to the couch.

"Spongebob?" Abel asked, pointing to the tv.

"Yes, honey. I like Patrick." I said as I ruffled his hair.

"Me too." He said, as we both sat there while Gemma did whatever in my kitchen I felt like I was finally at home.

Soon Abel was asleep. "Did you tell who the father was yet?" Gemma asked as she walked in to my living room.

"Nope, I haven't thought of telling them yet." I said. There was no way that I was going to tell Gemma before I told Jax or Tig.

"Why are you holding this from me?" Gemma asked as she took a sleeping Abel from the couch on the floor, with a pillow and blanket. She covered him up.

"You know why I haven't told you yet? Cause I haven't told either of the boys who the father is." I said to her as she just looked at me like really why not?

"Why not? You know Tara –" Gemma started off.

"I am sick of you always bringing Tara in to this shit. You want to talk about her? Talk about her somewhere else. Frankly I don't need to be hearing it and well I don't give a flying fuck about her." I said and then I heard a knock at the door. "And Gemma if that is her you best be leaving."

Gemma got up and went to answer the door. "You don't answer the door in my house. I do." I said as I moved her out of the way and I went to answer the door.

"Ryan Vega?" The man asked.

"No, sorry I haven't heard of anyone by that name." I told him. He just looked at me.

"I was told she lived here." He told me.

"Well if you want to, you can give the package to me and I can see if she stops by at all." I said to him with a fake smile.

"It's not a package lady, it's something else." He said as he walked away.

"Fuck you too then." I said shutting the door.

I saw Abel move on the floor. "Do you want me to move him?"

"Nope I can." I said as I picked him up and moved him to my bed.

"You know he doesn't like it when he gets moved." Gemma said.

"Do you always have to be a bitch about everything when it comes to him?" I asked.

"I just want to know if my grandchild is going to be okay." Gemma said quietly.

"They are fine."

* * *

I watched Abel the rest of the day. He was a blast. "Grandma now?" Abel asked.

"How about we go over there now." I said.

"Yes." He said pouching the air. I laughed.

"Mommy RyRy, where's the other girl?" I heard Abel say from the backseat of the car.

"What other girl?" I asked.

"The one daddy was with." Abel said.

"Tara, she is long gone, bub." I said to him as he played with his trucks.

"Vroom. Vroom." I heard Abel making sounds from the back. "Trucks go bang."

"Come on bub, we are pulling up." I said to him as he looked around for his daddy.

"You really love your daddy?" I asked him as I got him out of the car.

"Yeah, and babies." He said before taking off.

* * *

"Oh love, what brings you here?" Chibs said from the clubhouse boxing ring.

"Dropping off Abel and then going to find Jax and Tig." I said.

"You gonna tell him who pregnanted you?" Chibs said.

"Ah yes I am." I said as I saw Abel talking and walking with Jax.

* * *

I quickly caught up to them.

"Jax, we need to talk." I told him.

"Yeah I heard about what happened with Ma." He said.

"Not my fault she started saying shit about Tara." I said.

"Shit. Again? I thought she was over that." Jax said.

"Shit." Abel said looking at his dad. Jax grabbed his truck and told him to play with them.

We walked away a little bit farer from Abel. "What is it that you wanted to talk?"

"It's about the babies." I said.

"You didn't lose them did you?" He asked scared.

"Oh god no. We are all good." I said. "Anyways I just need to talk to you tonight."

"Okay, why tonight?" He asked.

"Just do it Teller." I said walking away to meet up with Tig. I saw him walking in to the garage and I stopped him.

"We need to talk tonight." I said to him before he stared over at Jax.

"Why?" He asked.

"If you show up then you will know if you don't oh well." I said before walking in to the office.

* * *

"Ryan what the hell happened last night was stupid." Gemma said before I even said anything to her.

"You are damn right it was." I said.

"You would make your mother proud." I heard her say. "You telling the guys tonight?"

"Yeah acutally in a bit. I can't hold it in much longer." I said.

"I want to be the second person first." Gemma yelled to me as I walked out of the office.

"We will see." Was all I said.

* * *

"Okay, you can have the Church room." Clay said to me. I asked him if I could use it for tonight.

"Thank you Papa Bear." I said as I hugged him. Piney and Bobby walked in.

"You telling them?" Piney asked.

"Yeah in a little bit I am." I said. "Why?" I asked.

"I got something for the father." Piney said smiling. Oh god I didn't want to know what it was. "Nothing bad don't worry."

Jax and Tig walked in to the clubhouse. "Follow me boys." I said. They looked at me and followed me into the meeting room.

"Right what we in here for?" Tig asked me.

"Is it about the babies?" Jax asked.

Tig was about to say something but I cut him off. "Before I say anything about this, we all have to get along. Now this only happens ever once and 13,000 babies." I started off.

"But what?" Tig said.

"Jackass." Jax said.

"Shut up will the both of you. What I am trying to say is congratulations daddies." I said walking out.

"What daddies?" They yelled at the same time. Everyone looked at me. "Daddies?" They both said looking at me.

"Tig you are a father to one and Jax you are a father to the other one." I said. Like my life could get any more complicated.

"Shit." Tig said.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Again thanks for the reviews and I hope you have enjoyed it so far. And yes it possible for this to happen. Like I had mention earlier in the chapter it is a one and 13,000 chance that this could actually happen. I don't know anyone who has it, but it could happen.**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Memories, sharp as daggers**_

_**Pierce into the flesh of today**_

_**Suicide of love took away all that matters**_

_**And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart**_

_**With the venomous kiss you gave me**_

_**I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)**_

_**With the warmth of your arms you saved me,**_

_**Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you**_

_**I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb**_

_**I'm killing loneliness.**_

_**Killing Loneliness – HIM.**_

"So that's why you didn't tell me." Gemma said as we both sat down and waited for Piney surprise.

"Yeah, I didn't need someone else telling them that they both were daddies." I said. I was still upset at the fact that, she always brought up Tara.

"You know if-" Gemma started off.

"Don't you fucking bring that whore's name up ever to me again." I told her with a straight face, I wasn't backing down this time.

"I will see if Bobby and Piney need help with the cake." Gemma said.

"You do that." I said.

Piney and Bobby brought the cake out, some of the Prospects came out as well.

"As you all know we do have a pregnant lady here." Bobby started off pointing to me.

"Well we wanted to welcome the fathers in and as well as the babies." Piney said as he lifted the cake saying. Congrats, Daddies. We all sat around eating cake and talking.

* * *

I left the party to get some fresh air. "Is it going to be strange that you have two different babies growing inside you?" Said Phil one of the new Prospects.

"Yeah it is, but I will have to get used to it." I said as I looked at him.

"You going to be with Jax or Tig when they come?" He asked.

"I'm not sure yet." I said as I thought about it. I mean I was carrying both babies but with different fathers. How the fuck do you explain that one to children that are twins but yet nothing alike. Then who was I going to live with when this was all said and done. Fuck I was just one person of my twins but no my life has to fuck me over and over again. I was so wrapped up in my thought that I didn't feel or see anyone sit next to me.

"Ryan you okay?" Opie asked from the side of me.

"Nope, I just wish TIg or Jax was the father not both. But shit happens." I said.

"You were thinking when they arrived what you're going to do." Opie said.

"Yeah I am. You know me to well." I said.

"Yeah I known you since you were fifteen kid." Opie said.

"Wrong, I was seventeen." I said laughing.

"But you acted like a fifteen year old." Opie said laughing as well.

"True I did." I said.

*Flashback.

"_Opie do you think we should be doing this?" I asked as he was next to me._

"_Yeah, I want it you want it." Opie said moving closer to me._

_Opie moved closer to me enough to close the gap between us. "I'm scared Op." I said truthfully I was still a virgin and I didn't know if I was making the right decision. _

"_Just let it happen." Opie said as he kissed my neck. My hands found his neck and I pulled him in close._

"_Ryan you don't know how much I love you." Opie said before everything changed._

*End Flashback.

"What were you saying?" I asked Opie as he talked.

"How dad adopted you as my sister, after you know what we did." Opie said.

"I know I just thought about that." I said.

"I couldn't lose it to a better person." I said smiling.

"You know I love you." Opie said.

"I know, I love you too." I said before I got up and walked away.

* * *

I walked back into the clubhouse and seen Jax talking with his mother. "Jackson I just don't get why you want to be with her." Gemma said as I started walking to them.

"Mom, you don't get it. I think I am starting to fall for her. Again but this time harder." Jax said. He seen me come up from behind.

"I know but you could have Tara. She is so good with Abel already and I know how you don't like to misplace the kid with your whores." Gemma said.

"Jax wants me in his life with Abel. The only person that doesn't want me in her son's life seems to be his mother. And as far as I care when these babies are born. If you have changed you tune by then maybe you can see them until then consider yourself gone." I said to her as I walked by.

"But why?" Gemma said.

"Honey you keep bringing Tara up when I know that bitch has caused you more problems than you hitting dick." I said to her. While everyone else just stared at me.

"Welcome to being Queen Bee." I heard from behind me. I looked over and saw Clay and Piney clapping.

"Let's go home." I said grabbing Jax's hand and leaving the clubhouse.

* * *

It was short ride to Jax's house. "I thought you would be staying at your house."

"No I didn't want to go to an empty house." I said as we walked in to the living room. Seeing Abel play with Neeta and his toys.

"Thanks Neeta." I said to her as I hugged her and then played with Abel.

"RyRy." Abel said hugging me. "Babies." He said patting my stomach.

"How are you feeling Ryan?" Neeta asked me.

"Great." I said playing with Abel.

"Good, how does the dad feel?" Neeta asked before she left.

"They both feel pretty lucky." I said. Her face broke out in to a smile.

"Did everyone know?" Jax asked.

"Nope, only Piney and now everyone else." I said.

"Beddy." Abel said as he got up and run to his room.

"I guess I better tuck him in." Jax said.

"No I can. I don't mind." I said getting up.

"You sure?" Jax said. I already left the room to tuck him in.

"RyRy will you be my new mommy?" Abel asked as I tucked him in.

"I can be, if you want me to be." I said to him.

"RyRy, I love you." Abel said before he passed out.

"Abel, sweetie I love you too." I said before I kissed his blonde haired head and went off to find Jax in bed waiting for me to join him.

* * *

"What took?" He asked.

"Abel told me he loves me." I said.

"Only two years old and has a way with ladies." Jax said.

"I told him I loved him back." I said.

"I love you too." I heard Jax said before I fell asleep.

"Love you too." I mumbled before falling asleep completely.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Again thanks for the reviews and I hope you have enjoyed it so far.**


	17. Chapter 17

_**A smoking gun in hand, now don't you realize what you've done  
Put a bullet in his back, your hero since you were so young  
How could you kill the man who brought salvation through your pain  
He must mean everything to end it all this shameful way  
Passion in my eyes, I lived it everyday, but how could you go and throw it all away  
In my dreams it's me and you, it's there I saw it all come true  
As time went by faith in you grew, so one thing left for me to do **_

_**Betrayed - Avenged Sevenfold.**_

"You know Clay I would hate to lose something so dear to your lady's heart." The man said to Clay as he stopped along the way for a shave with Unser.

"Yeah and who would that be?" Clay asked with a sneer in his voice.

"Ryan Vega. Oh wait it's Winston now." He said as he left the barbers place.

"What does he want with Ryan?" Unser asked.

"I'm not sure but I am going to find out." Clay said.

"Isn't Ryan expecting twins with Tig and Jax?" Unser asked and the barber was shocked.

"Yeah she is. What are the chances right?" Clay said laughing.

"One messed up family." Unser said.

"Yeah. A Teller and Trager in one of course it's only right." Clay said.

* * *

I woke up to Jax's arm wrapped around me.

"RyRy. I am scared." I heard from the side of the bed.

"Come on little one." I said to him as he pulled himself on the bed and then he went to snuggle up to the both of us.

"Ryan you don't have to ask to snuggle with me." Jax mumbled in his sleep.

"Daddy." Abel said.

"Oh hey son." Jax said as he looked at me.

"He got scared." I said. Abel looked at my stomach.

"Babies. Waky waky." Abel said as he touched my stomach and poked them.

"That's not nice son." Jax said as he watch Abel poke Ryan stomach.

"It's fine I don't mind it." I said. I started to tickle Abel.

"Not fair." Abel said between laughs. "I love you Mommy RyRy." He said when he was done laughing and out of breath.

"Abel honey, I love you too." I said kissing his blonde haired boy again.

"Going in?" I asked Jax.

"Yup so are you. Gemma has Abel today." Jax said.

"Okay." Was all I said.

* * *

"You going to get some things together for a baby shower?" Piney asked me.

"No, not yet. I mean I'm only five almost six months in to it." I said.

"But you get bigger each day." Opie said. "Lyla can help with the baby shower planning."

"Thanks but right now. I just want a Teller and Trager in one piece." I said laughing.

"Can't believe that somehow they both fathered you babies." Chibs said as he snickered by.

"Shut up Chibbie. You know you love me, well us." I said.

"That I do." I heard him say before he yelled at the Prospects to get to work.

"What are we going to do with him?" I asked.

"Send him off to work with them." Piney said.

"Hey I am standing here." Chibs yelled as he accent came through.

"I am going to run to the store. I shall be back before Sunday Dinner." I said to Piney and Opie.

"You know if you miss it, Gem's going to be mad." Clay said as he poked out from the dorms.

"That's okay, I got my babies." I said walking out. With Clay shaking his head.

"Those two will never get along."

* * *

I got in to my car and started to the store, hoping this time my odd sense of what I wanted to eat didn't kick in this time. Last time I came home with pickles, ice cream, and other things that I didn't need, but I swear I craved.

I was walking down the ice cream isle. I know I said I wouldn't walk down this isle but I swear Tig child was craving ice cream. Mint bon bon sounded so good right now. I grabbed it and I saw some people look at me. I snorted a little bit and went back to my cart. I checked out and started to carry things to my car.

"You know a pretty lady shouldn't be carrying this by herself." I heard from the side of me.

"Thanks, but I got it." I said.

"I can help you." He said.

"I said thanks, but I got it." I said.

"Well Ryan you are very persistent aren't you?" He asked.

"How do you know my name?" I asked.

"I know all about you and the MC." He said to me as I watched him check me out. Thankfully I was wearing shirt that hid the fact that no one could tell I was expecting.

"Really? Don't believe what you hear." I said.

"Just so you know my name is Alvarez. Marcus." He said as he stuck his hand out.

"I don't shake with people I don't know." I said getting in to my car.

"You will be sorry." He told me as I drove off. I just flipped him off, I wasn't in the mood for dealing with other peoples shit.

* * *

I got home well to Jax's place when I noticed that door was ajar. Fuck was my first thought. I slowly started to walk up to the steps. I pushed the door in slightly. I saw three people with ski mask covering their face. Shit what do they want in my house? I don't have anything. I walked in slowly grabbing my gun that was by the door.

"She's here. Find her." One of the guys yelled in a thick and heavy voice. I didn't recognize the voice at all.

"What are you doing in my house?" I yelled as I tried to pull the gun up to their chest. "I have a gun."

"You wouldn't shoot us." I heard one say. I only seen two come up from the front of me.

"Where's the third one?" I asked as I looked at them.

"There are only us two sweetheart." The first guy said.

"Bullshit, I saw three of you." I said. I heard a creaking noise behind me. I whipped around only to be met with a black shirt. "Fuck." I yelled. He grabbed me and threw me down. "Fuck you, I am pregnant."

"Shit, he didn't tell us she was pregnant." The third guy said.

"Shit just get her in the van." The second yelled to the others. The third guy pulled his gun out and pointed it at me, while the second guy dressed in black grabbed the rope and started to roughly tie my hands up behind my back. The rope cut in to my wrist and my moving the wrist made them burn. I hissed out in pain.

"Shut it, if you old man wants to see you again." The third guy said to me. The second guy bounded my feet together.

"I don't have an old man. I don't belong to anyone." I yelled to them as he started to ripped the tape off.

"We can't hear you now, sweet checks." The first one said laughing. They all three carried me out to the van and they drove off. The blindfold that I wore covered everything, I didn't know where I was or where we were going.

* * *

"Where is Ryan?" Gemma asked everyone. No one saw her since she left the clubhouse four and a half hours ago.

"I haven't heard from her at all. I don't know if she made it home okay or not." Jax said as he pulled out his phone ready to call Ryan.

"I don't know about this man. I got a bad feeling." Clay said as he tried bringing everyone together.

"Ryan didn't answer. Unlike her." Jax said.

"Let me try, maybe she will talk to the other daddy." Tig said. "She didn't answer."

"Something is wrong." Juice yelled as he walked in late. Someone sent him over to check on Ryan, make sure she was okay.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked getting worried about his unborn child and Ryan. Tig was already pacing up and down the table.

"Out with it Jucie." Tig yelled.

"Well I went to check on Ryan, like you said Jax, but it looks like someone broke in. She wasn't there." Juice said. Juice looked like he wanted to say something else but he stopped and didn't want to say it.

"What else?" Tig yelled to Juice who looked scared.

He stayed quiet for a moment.

"What else Juice?" Jax said calmer than Tig.

"There was a blood trail. Pretty sure it was hers." Juice said.

"Mother fucker." Tig yelled.

"We have to find her." Jax yelled. He was already making plans in his head, of what to do and how to maybe find her.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Again thanks for the reviews and I hope you have enjoyed it so far.**


	18. Chapter 18

_**And when I think of all the places I just don't belong,**_

_**I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far. **_

_**I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear, escape from this afterlife.**_

_**'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here.**_

_**A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain.**_

_**Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you.**_

_**Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste.**_

_**Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway.**_

_**Afterlife – Avenged Sevenfold.**_

"How the hell are we going to find her?" Chibs asked as he got up and threw his plate in the sink.

"Juicy I want you dig some anything you can on her. I don't care what names you have to use or anything. Just find something." Jax said as he started to pace.

"Who would kidnap her?" Half Sack asked.

"I wish we would know." Gemma said.

"Yeah well if you didn't bring Tara in to every fucking conversation you two have maybe she would still be here." Jax yelled to his mother.

"Well I just think Tara was a better match for you." Gemma said honestly.

"Honestly mom? You knew this life wasn't cut for her. She didn't grow up in it like Ryan did. She knows what to expect if one of doesn't come home. She has been through this before, I just want her here." Jax said as he looked at every single patched or non-patched member.

"Calm down would you. I think she will be safe." Clay said.

"Fuck you Clay." Jax said as he stormed out. Juice followed suit.

"I will get right on that information soon as we get back to the clubhouse." Juice said as he got on his bike and peeled off. Jax soon did the same.

"God let her be safe." Jax whispered as he rode his bike.

* * *

The van suddenly came to a stop. "We are here sunshine."

"Don't call me sunshine." I yelled even though the tape was covering my mouth.

"You like the name sunshine?" He asked.

"Fuck you." I said but it came out as a mumbled mess. The third guy who sat next to me the whole time keep giving me glances. His hands rubbed my stomach. "Fucker get your dirty fucking hands of me." I mumbled again though the tape.

"Oh you said you liked it? How about this." He said as his hands slide into my lap. His hands went further up. They ended up reaching to top on my pants line. His fingers slowly creeping in.

"Don't touch her just yet." The first one said. "He told us to wait on that."

"Okay, we can handle that." He said as he kept his hands there. I wanted to throw up and die before I let anyone of these guys touch me.

"Bring her in." The second yelled to the two other guys. They roughly grabbed me and shoved me out. I had troubling walking due to them taping my feet. I felt dried blood on the side of my head. I could feel how rough the rope was as it cut in to my skin each time as I walked. I had the blindfold off. All I could see was trees. Trees and more trees.

"You know we could just kill you here and right now. But he wouldn't want that now would he?" The second guy said. I still couldn't figure out who this he was. Or this she that they sometimes talked about. I knew it couldn't be Tara I haven't seen her since she took off for god knows what this time. I was so worried about what Jax would be thinking right now, that I didn't feel myself being lifted on a bed.

"Sit tight sunshine." The first guy growled at me before he left the room. I sat there thinking where the hell am I? I don't even know. God what is Jax thinking, I hope is trying to find help for me to get out of this. If I don't know where the hell I am how the fuck is he going to find me? Tig, well he is most likely flying off the handle that I got kidnapped and all he would care about would be the babies. I just hope they find me in time.

* * *

"Jax I found something." Juice said as he walked in to the garage.

"What?" Jax asked as he dropped the tools he was working with.

"Well there seems to be some in home break in this area. Seems your house was on target. They didn't expect Ryan to show up." Juice said.

"Shit. You have anything else?" Jax asked.

"Looks like an inside job." Juice said, looking around.

"Great." Jax said. "Thanks, man."

"Ryan is Piney's daughter right?" Juice asked.

"Adopted daughter. She meet him when she was fifteen after she ran away, from her mother to find her father. Which I don't know if she ever did." Jax said. We both started to walk away.

"So Piney adopted her or" Juice started off.

"She came in to our lives and I was like she never left. She took off when she was seventeen. During those two whole years I myself never was happier." Jax said.

"Really? You must have really fell for her back then." Juice said.

"Yeah I really did and now I am falling for her again. All over." Jax said as he man hugged Juice and started to get back to work on the car.

"I'll try to find more." Juice said as he walked away running in to Clay in the process.

"What did you tell him?" Clay said.

"Just some information on Ryan." Juice asked. "Why?"

"You need to keep your mouth shut on her. I don't want to hear any more things about her or anything else. Got it?" Clay said as he walked away. "See you later."

"Damn, I have to tell Jax." Juice said as he started to walk back in to the clubhouse to get more information on Ryan. Everything that Clay had said to Juice seemed off. Like he didn't want her around anymore. I started to dig into her past. Nothing really much to tell other than the usual. Juice got started thinking that he should get more in touch with Jax about Clay.

"Church boys." Tig said interrupting his thoughts. Whatever Juice had to tell Jax could wait.

"I think we need to beef up protection. So you know what that means." Clay started off.

"Lock down." Chibs said as he looked over at Jax and Tig.

"I don't want it until Ryan is found." Tig said.

"We have to in order to protect ourselves and our families." Clay.

"Bullshit." Jax yelled getting up. Juice soon followed.

"Man, we need to talk." Juice said to Jax as soon as they were out the chapel doors.

* * *

I sat there on the bed shaking. The three men just left me alone after they got done with their usage of me. I started to cry. Then I heard a voice. "I told you guys not to touch her." This voice sounded very far away. "I am going to be in so much trouble with The Sons now. Thanks to you dipshits." He said sounding very pissed off.

"We couldn't help it. She is just too cute." The first guy said.

"Way to feisty." The third one said.

"I like her." The second one said. I was finally understanding their voices. I could finally tell who was talking just by listening to their voice.

"Did you really have to? You know she is pregnant right?" I heard the new voice say.

"Yeah, but I always wanted to see what it would feel like." I heard the first guy say. As I sat there listening to them I prayed for myself and for my unborn babies. Praying that I would make out of here alive. I got up and locked the door. Hoping they would be done for the night, but boy was I wrong when the new voice man came knocking on my door. I hoped I could just black out and not be here anymore.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Again thanks for the reviews and I hope you have enjoyed it so far. Thank you to those who have followed and favorite this story.**


	19. Chapter 19

_**I miss you so,**_

_**Seems like it's been forever,**_

_**That you've been gone.**_

_**Where'd you go?**_

_**I miss you so,**_

_**Seems like it's been forever,**_

_**That you've been gone,**_

_**Please come back home...**_

_**Where'd You Go? – Fort Minor.**_

It has been three weeks since anyone has heard from Ryan. Jax is on edge and as well as Tig. Everyone was worried for her safety. Needless to say the club didn't go on lockdown. Piney was worried about Ryan missing and not being found. He just hopes that she would be found.

"You know I wish I could do more." Jax said as he sat down at the bar.

"We all do brother." Chibs said.

"Hoping to find her soon. I mean we can't not find her." Jax said.

"Jax, I think we may have found her." Juice said running to him.

"Where?" Jax yelled running to him to meet him half way.

Juice gave him the address. Jax went off in hopes of finding Ryan and the babies.

"Ryan, you know you need to eat." The man said. I came to know him as the man that dressed nicely and had shiny shoes. The tape was lifted off me one week ago. The tape at my legs however was still attached. "I know you need to feed them babies." He repeated again. I didn't want to go out. Not in this skimpy baby doll dress. It was way too short to cover everything. "Come on-" He said but was cut off by the sound of a motorcycle approaching. "Get rid of Teller."

I started hearing gun shots and yelling. I heard his voice. I started to cry for him and ran to the door. The man that dressed nicely was waiting on the other side, however I didn't know that as I ran right in to his chest. "Let's go." He growled at me, putting the tape back over my mouth. "You say anything, Teller gets it. Got it?" He demanded as I shook my head yes. I would stay quiet so that Jax would live. He pushed me out front with him behind me. I saw Jax standing out front fighting with the two other men. One was laying motionless on the ground, he was dead I knew it. I looked over at Jax and he started coming to me. I shook my head no as he came closer. The man that held me captive came out after me.

"You let her go. She isn't with us." Jax yelled to him.

"She is you Old Lady? Isn't she?" The man asked as he pressed the barrel of his gun in my back.

"Just don't hurt her." Jax said as he started to come closer.

"You come any closer and she will not make it." He said. Jax stopped at that point. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I also could see the pain of missing me and being worried about me.

"Just so you know, she was a good fuck." He said before he pushed me to the side and started to fight Jax. Jax had the upper hand until my captive holder shoved him down and started kicking him in the ribs and sides. I heard a couple of cracks and I knew that he had some broken bones. Soon I was being pulled up and I watched as Jax was getting the shit kicked out of him, they were pulling me away. I felt myself started to bleed again. I looked at my hands that were in front of me. They were blooded and bruised. I also noticed that my skin was dirtier then the last night. The man that held me captive made me look at Jax as he was leading me away. I saw Jax yelling and I was trying to look away, he kept my face firm against his hands. I turned to look away but he pulled me in to a fierce kiss as Jax was watching.

* * *

As soon as Jax was able to move again, he pulled out his phone and called Juice. "Yeah, that address was current."

"Did you get her? Are you on your way back?" Juice asked as he got everyone's attention.

"No, the fucker took off with her again." He said as he tried not to breathe as he sat up. His ribs hurt like hell.

"You saw her?" Juice asked as he paced up and down the bar length.

"Yeah she looked horrible." Jax said, he just wished somehow he could have saved her. He didn't see any way for her to be saved with somehow her getting hurt. He wished he didn't have to see that kiss, knowing she didn't even want it. God I hope the babies are alright.

"Shit, that's not good." Juice said.

"Yeah but I think you are right on who is behind it." Jax said.

* * *

We all three sat back in the van. The man with the shiny shoes, and of course the other two guys that found me in the first place. I looked down and prayed that they were okay.

"Yeah, what do you want me to do with her?" The first man said. Second man was dead and third man kept staring at me. "Yeah, man we can meet you there." He said and hung up.

"Looks like you are meeting another man tonight sunshine." He told me and I just glared at him and cursed him through the tape. "Lucky that tape is on there."

I stared at him then I looked out the window, thinking when I would met this new guy. "We are going to stop. Do you think we can trust you by yourself?" He asked me.

I nodded my head yes, proving to them they could trust me. They looked at each other and then they each looked at me. "You know what happens when you lie." He said before each one of the men kissed me and left. I was finally alone. I looked around for a phone or something that I could get myself out of. I couldn't find anything, fuck. I started to move around the back which was hard considering I still had my legs and hands taped together. I started to hear voices again. They can't be back already. I looked poked my head out from behind the seats and seen some people walking by. I started to hit things inside the van hoping they would see me but sadly they kept on walking not bothering to look or even glance at the van. I sat down defeated, knowing no one was coming for me but not all was lost I did get to see Jax before they hauled me off to god knows where next.

* * *

"So you think I am right?" Juice asked soon as Jax was back. His ribs still hurting him.

"Yeah I think so. But I am not too sure on it." Jax said.

"Do you have any other leads?" Juice said.

"No, but I do think it could be either of two people. One I am hoping I am dead wrong and the other one I will kill him or her, if they are working together." Jax said.

"She was badly hurt?" Juice asked.

"Yeah, I wish I could have done more but I didn't want her hurt." Jax said.

"We will find her again." Juice said.

"I am glad you are helping us." Jax said as he walked away. Juice sat there and then walked away after taking in the comment and trying to find more on Ryan Winston and who took her.

* * *

I could hear the van door open again as he where we were supposed to be headed. I was shoved in to

the house. They sat me on the couch. One of them slapped me. "That was for fun, I know you like it rough." The third one said to me as he whispered it in my ear. His hands running all over my body.

"Feels good don't it?" I heard from the other side of my face. Guy number one. At this point I wished I could blackout and just not remember anything however my wishes never came true. I heard what sounded like car doors and they broke away. "Clean yourself up doll." I heard the first guy say to me. The third guy led me to a bathroom so I could clean myself up to a certain point.

"Did you get her?" I heard the female ask.

"Yeah she's cleaning up." The first guy said.

"Good, was she hard to find?" She said again.

"Yeah but no, Teller came for her but that's why we moved her." The first guy said to her. I more I listened to them three talk, the more I recognized the voices. Ah hell fucking no. It couldn't be, but oh wrong I was when I stepped out of the bathroom and met face to face with her.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Again thanks for the reviews and I hope you have enjoyed it so far. Thank you to those who have followed and favorite this story.**


	20. Chapter 20

_**Take a photograph,**_

_**It'll be the last,**_

_**Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,**_

_**I don't have a past**_

_**I just have a chance,**_

_**Not a family or honest plea remains to say,**_

_**Rain, rain go away,**_

_**Come again another day,**_

_**All the world is waiting for the sun.**_

_**Rain – Breaking Benjamin **_

"You have to be fucking kidding me right?" I yelled to her.

"Did you not think that I would find you again?" She asked me.

"I left you for good reasons." I said to her.

She looked at me, she was about to say something when I heard her phone ring. She answered it, "So good to hear from you."

"Well I just wanted to know if you had gotten a chance to see her." The voice replied on the other end of the phone.

'Yeah, I can see her now. How come you didn't tell me she was pregnant?" She asked as she paced the length of the floor.

"I told you but I didn't tell the guys." He said, I got that this one was a guy.

I started to get up and went to take the phone from her. The first guy pushed me down.

"You don't touch her." He growled at me. The one with the shiny shoes started to laugh.

"You know better than that." He said laughing. "Harm her."

The third guy started to kick me in the back. While the first guy started to pouch my face. My arms went protectively around my stomach hoping this would be over soon.

* * *

"Just make sure it gets done. I don't want her back." Clay said as he hung up the phone.

"Who was that baby?" Gemma asked her husband.

"Nothing important. How's the search on Ryan going?" Clay asked changing the subject.

"We aren't sure. Juice hasn't found anything more on her." Gemma said.

"Oh well I better make sure that he is finding more." Clay said as he walked out of the house and took off for the clubhouse.

Clay got to the clubhouse, his phone ringing again. He hit the send button hearing the screams of Ryan Winston in the background. "I will see her later, do have fun." He said after hearing the screams stop.

"Juice what have you heard?" Clay asked as soon as Juice appeared out of the garage.

"Nothing. I can't find anything." Juice said. He knew some things but if he thinks what he knows then yes he wasn't going to tell Clay Ryan's whereabouts. If anything he already knew.

Clay didn't say anything he just smiled and walked away. Juice went over to Jax and Tig. "I think I am right about Clay being in with the kidnapping."

Tig and Jax looked over at him. "What do you mean you think?" Tig asked.

"He asked me if I knew anything about Ryan. I didn't tell him anything. I knew nothing." Juice said.

"Good. I want someone to follow him tonight when he does whatever. Keep a watchful eye out." Jax said.

"Who is going to do that?" Juice asked.

"Me."

* * *

It was gearing to the end of the day. I could tell cause of the night fall that just started to fall. "I bet you are wondering how I found you." She said to me.

"Nope, I don't really care and I quite frankly don't give a shit." I said as I tried getting my wrist free again.

"You know what? Tie her in the back again. I don't know if I want her wrist in the front. Yeah put them back." She said laughing. The first guy shoved my hands in the back of me and roughly tied them again. This was becoming painful. "Oh does that hurt sweetie? Too bad." She said laughing again.

"I will get you bitch. There was a reason I left you in the first place." I yelled to her.

"Yeah I know. But I waited until you made yourself famous." She said smiling. "I am so proud of you. I couldn't have a better person then you, but then you take his name and not mine. He isn't the one that raised you." She sat down, she sighed and then continued on. "I don't get what you saw in them two, he was nothing good for you. And Tig he wasn't anything good for you. You would have been happy if you just stuck around." She said as she looked at the ground.

The two men started to laugh at what Mr. Shiny Shoes said. "I bet you are wondering how I met this man right? Well just to let you know he is my husband. This is Damon Pope." She said.

"Fuck you." I said. Of course that earned me a kick to my back. "Mother fuckers. I hate you all." I growled out during the pain.

"How can you hate your new step daddy?" He said.

"Go to fucking hell. You aren't my father, you aren't my step father, and you sure as hell aren't my fucking mother. Anymore." I said to the lady that I had just met.

"Ryan that is no way to talk to your mother." Pope said to me.

"Fuck you. Like I said, you aren't my step father, and you aren't for sure aren't my fucking family. The only family I have is The Sons. Fuck all of you." I yelled to him while guy one and two started to beat the shit out of me.

* * *

Jax follow Clay home along with Tig. "What do you think he is up too?" Tig asked Clay.

"I'm not sure." Jax said as they both stepped into the house. Juice was outside hooking something up to Clay's bike. He was going to keep a track on him, he didn't trust Clay. His phone buzzed in his pocket. **Let me know when you are done. – Jax**. He checked it and made sure it was working right and then he flipped his phone open and texted Jax saying it was done. All good to go. Juice quickly got up and walked away. Hoping he would not be caught.

"Alright Ma, we are heading out. Clay has us on a run to Reno." Jax said as he hugged his mother, Tig stood there getting ready to go.

"Do you need me there?" Tig asked knowing what he was talking about.

"I'm not sure man. I will call you on it." Jax said as he walked out the door keeping up with the light talking. Gemma was still watching them from the door way.

"You boys be careful." Gemma yelled as she stepped back in to the house.

"Juice what's going on with Clay?" Jax asked soon as they were a safe distance away from the house.

"Looks like he is heading up north, quite a ways." Juice said.

"Do you think that's where Ryan is?" Tig asked.

"I think it might be." Jax said.

"You going up?" Tig asked.

"Yeah I think so." Jax said.

"Let me know if anything happens." Tig said. He was worried about his child growing in Ryan.

"Yeah man. Let me know what goes on with Clay." Jax said.

Both men just shook their heads hoping Ryan was okay, and that Jax would be on his way home with her tonight.

* * *

I was shoved in the bedroom. "You know I always wanted a daughter." I heard Pope say from behind me. I felt his hands on me, his hands roaming my body.

"Don't touch me." I yelled to him.

"I will touch you as I please." He murmured against the skin of my neck. His mouth giving me the chills, that wasn't welcome. "Come on, I know you have had your eye on me since you first met me." His hands roamed to the front of my stomach. "Hopefully your babies will be able to survive. I would hate not knowing if something happened to them." He said, his hands dipped lower. I tired fighting him. He grabbed his hand and took my hand forcing down his pants. Making me rub his already hard cock. "Baby, that feels so good right now." He murmured. I pulled my hand out and started to back up. "Don't be such a tease." He said as he shoved me down on the bed.

I started to scream. He covered my mouth. "I don't want to hear you scream, only if you are screaming my name." He said as he stripped me of my pants. "Damn you are looking sexy scared." I started to fight back. He grabbed some rope and tied on of my legs to the bed post. I kicked Pope in his face before he got ahold of my other foot. I went to kick him again but he caught it. "Feisty I like it." He said before he tied it down to the other side of the bed post. He whipped out his knife. He cut of my underwear and then he ripped my shirt off. "Now let me have my fun." He said as he started to strip, I just wanted to block this out right or somehow forget this is happening.

"Is she here?" Was the first thing I heard since Pope raped me. I noticed that my feet were still tied and they were rubbed raw. There was blood from the bed to the floor. Oh god my babies. I looked down and I hoped everything was alright.

"Yeah she is fine." I heard Pope say to the newest voice in the house.

"Good, she was the best fuck I had in a while, besides her mother of course." Pope said.

"Let's check on her. Shall we?" I heard as they walked closer to where the door was. They opened the door and I was face to face with what I thought was my family.

"You won't be forgiven. Go to hell." I said as I stared at them.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Thanks, for the review I love reading what you think about this and I hope you are enjoying this story.**


	21. Chapter 21

_**Take a photograph,**_

_**It'll be the last,**_

_**Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,**_

_**I don't have a past**_

_**I just have a chance,**_

_**Not a family or honest plea remains to say,**_

_**Rain, rain go away,**_

_**Come again another day,**_

_**All the world is waiting for the sun.**_

_**Rain – Breaking Benjamin **_

I stared at his face. "Fuck you, I know you won't be forgiven."

"They don't care what I do anymore." He told me.

"I can't believe I thought you were family." I said to him.

My mother, Cheryl untied my legs and it didn't help much. She also gave me a shirt to wear.

"How do you think I found so much out?" Cheryl asked me.

"Fuck you." I said.

* * *

Jax followed Clay to empty house. He watched him go in and then he stuck around to the one of the windows. He could see what was going on. He seen Pope, some lady, and Clay talking with someone on the bed, she was naked. Damn that girl was Ryan. Clay knew where the fuck Ryan was and he was keeping it from the club. Shit. Jax called Tig.

"I found her." Jax said.

"Great, let's get her now." Tig said.

"She isn't alone." Jax said as he walked away from the window.

"What do you mean she isn't alone." Tig said as he caught the attention of Juice and Opie.

"She's with Pope and some lady." Jax said.

"Where the hell is Clay?" Juice asked.

"With her. I think he is the one behind it." Jax said. Resisting the urge to hit something.

"Fucking shitting me." Tig said.

"Yeah, and I am pretty sure she's been raped." Jax said as he quickly threw up. He didn't want to think of her getting raped by Pope, or in fact Clay.

"Why would he do this?" Juice asked.

"I am not sure. Juice, you need to figure out anything on him though." Jax said as he hung up. He went back to the window and seen that they were gone. Ryan was alone though. Now was his chance.

I heard rocks and taps at the window. I glanced over and I thought I saw a ghost. "Jax." I said as I let him in.

"Ryan are you okay?" He asked as he hugged me.

"No, I want out." I said we started to whisper.

"How are the babies?" He whispered back.

"I don't know." I said as I started to cry.

"I am going to get you out of this." He said.

"Thank you." I said to him as he watched me get up and walked to the door. I locked the door and that s when he noticed all the marks and bruising on my legs.

"Shit, you really need to get you checked out." Jax said as he climbed out the window. I started to climb out the window following him, when the door was jingled. It was quiet for the next few moments, then I heard two gun shots. The door busted open and I saw Cheryl there with a gun in her hand and a very pissed off expression on her face.

"Don't you fucking leave this room, Ryan." She warned as she stepped closer to me, Jax was on the outside of the window.

"Fuck you Cheryl." I said before I jumped and before I heard the gun shots. I ran towards Jax's bike. They seemed to be coming towards us.

* * *

"Get back here." One of them yelled. Jax already took down the first guy and was currently fighting off the third one. I screamed as I was next to what I would call my former family member. He grabbed me and then stuck his gun in my back. So for the second time I found myself in front of Jax as he was fighting of the third guy after he stabbed him. Cheryl stood there with Pope.

"Just let her go." Jax said. Pope stared at Jax.

"I don't think that is a wise move." Pope said.

"Fuck you Pope. And you too lady." Jax said as he was feeling pretty good. He already had killed two guys well three but that last one wasn't his fault. Well at least he didn't see it that way.

"Feeling good now?" The man that had me said to Jax as he wedged the gun deeper in to my back. He quickly showed it to Jax as he was running to us. And then he stopped.

"Do you really want to hurt a pregnant lady?" He asked. Trying to distract him.

"Yeah, she don't need you, you have Tara. You and Tara can have a happy family life. Gemma and Tara get along great." He said.

"You need to back up. She needs to be checked out by a doctor." Jax said as he slowly started to creep back up.

"How about no." He said as they both started to fire off shots. He let go of me and tossed me to Cheryl who was waiting there with Pope.

"I think we need to make a scene." Cheryl said as she talked to Pope.

"I think you are right honey." Pope said before I heard the gun shots and before I saw my mother laid out on the ground bleeding from the head. Pope looked at me then he looked at the two guys who were fighting and grabbed me.

"Look like I just shot her mother. Shit happens. I am blaming it one of you two. Which one wants to take the fall for it? How about you Jax? Seeing is Ryan isn't due for another three to four months. Or you Clay? Gemma would be mad that you were involved with this. Kidnapping of SAMCRO Princess." Pope said as he walked me to the van again. "We are taking a ride. I will call you and let you know where you can find her." He said before anyone had a chance to get to him he took off.

"Thanks a lot Clay." Jax said to him.

"Look I just gave out the information. I was checking on her to see if she was okay, I didn't want to have any part in this." Clay said.

"Fuck that isn't right. She thought of you as a father, now she basically thinks you fucked her over for some stupid shit." Jax yelled to his step father. "You are so lucky I didn't bash your face in."

"Why didn't you?" Clay asked.

"I knew Ryan would want to when she gets free." Jax said

"I know." Clay said.

"Again, you are the one going to explain it to her on why you were behind this and Gemma, you are going to have to tell her too." Jax said walking away.

Clay just stood there, not wanting to tell Gemma and Ryan all of people of why he did this.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). I can't believe that I am already up to Chapther 21. Wow I hope you guys are liking it. Thanks for the reviews. I hope to keep going with this story. I won't end it until, well I am not sure.**


	22. Chapter 22

_**I can feel you all around me**_

_**Thickening the air I'm breathing**_

_**Holding on to what I'm feeling**_

_**Savoring this heart that's healing**_

_**So I cry**_

_**(Holy)**_

_**The light is white**_

_**(Holy)**_

_**And I see you**_

_**All Around Me – Flyleaf.**_

"Clay what do you have to do with this?" Jax asked, before he Clay got on his bike.

"She was keeping us out jail for a year or so. I was working with her. Honestly, I don't think she is cut out for this life. Tara is more cut out then Ryan." Clay said.

"Why cause Tara knows to keep her fucking mouth shut? Or is it cause she knows what is club business is the club business not hers?" Jax asked.

"Can we talk about it later?" Clay asked him as he mounted his bike.

"Yeah, you better hope she stays alive." Jax said before he got on his bike and peeled out. Clay followed him shortly.

* * *

Back at the clubhouse, Clay arrived before Jax got there. Tig was the first one to greet him along with Juice. Clay could tell by the look on his face that they both weren't too happy. "She's still alive." Clay said before he went to the bar and got a drink.

"He didn't bring her back did he?" Tig asked and he already knew the answer before Jax walked in the door ready to wail on Clay.

"You motherfucker. I will kill you if Ryan doesn't." Jax roared at Clay. Clay just expected this from Jax. Before Clay could say anything the boys and Momma Gemma walked in to the room.

"You better fucking hope she is still alive. If she isn't that is three dead lives on your hands." Tig said as he circled Clay at the bar.

"What are you talking about? Three dead lifes?" Momma Gemma asked. She didn't know anything as well as nobody else knew about this besides Jax, Tig, and Juice and of course Clay.

"I think we just walked into something that we weren't supposed to." Bobby said. As he watched the boys sat down and waited for everything else to come out.

"Ask your husband what is going on with Ryan." Jax said as he sneered at Clay.

"What is going on with Ryan?" Gemma asked.

"Tell her that you knew where she was, you knew all along." Tig said.

The Sons faces dropped. "You knew the whole time?" Gemma said.

"Yeah, I was working with her mother Cheryl. She was going to help us not do time for a year or so." Clay started.

"You helped her mother after everything she was put through?" Piney yelled. If it was anything that the part the pissed Piney off. Her mother wasn't good for anything from what Ryan said. She was abusive; she was a drunk and a crank whore who cared about getting her next fix before taking care of Ryan.

"What do you mean after everything she was put threw?" Gemma asked Piney. Nobody knew the backstory on Ryan Vega-Winston.

"There was a reason why she never went back in to her childhood life. It was rough." Piney said as he sat down grabbing the nearest bottle of Whiskey. "She was abused. Her mother cared more about getting her next fix before taking care of Ryan, her father Chuck Vega left her one day and never came back for her even though he promised she never forgot that." Piney said after he took a shot of Whiskey.

"That's why she ran away at fifteen." Jax said well more like sounding like a question.

"Yeah, when I found her when her car was broke down, that piece of shit car. She was bloody, she looked like she just got out of a fight, her eyes were red and puffy, she was a mess. That's when I brought her home and gave her a home. I didn't adopt for until she was sixteen. She asked if I would be her father." Piney said as everyone continued to listen to the story that Ryan never told. "Clay she always thought you were her second father. Now that you did this you will have to tell her why, unless she doesn't make. You better hope to god she doesn't make it for your sake." Piney said before getting up and leaving. Leaving everyone wonder just how far Ryan would take this.

* * *

We pulled up to another place. "You know I hate how Clay went behind your back to help you get kidnapped." Pope said as he shoved me in to another house or at least that what I was hoping it was. He shoved me into a room that was hard floored.

"You fucker I am pregnant." I yelled to him but he seemed not to care about my life.

"Yeah I know, after this Tig will know how it feels to lose a daughter." Pope said after he closed the door.

"He already knows, he lost a boy." I said quietly to myself. I looked around the room. A bed in the corner, a little desk with a lamp on low in the other corner. No windows and only one door. I sat on the bed, I only wished Jax was here to save me this time. I couldn't believe the Clay was there and he helped out my mother, after everything she put me through. I was pretty sure Piney said some of it to the guys, but not all of it. There was some that I didn't even tell Piney cause I was still scared that Cheryl would find me but now that she was dead maybe I could finally tell what all that happened during my childhood.

"Get up and get out here, the door is unlocked." I heard Pope say from the outside.

I quietly opened the door and met with Pope. "We are staying here for a couple of days and then we are moving again. I can't trust The Sons for long. They will find you and murder me." Pope said. At this point I was already smiling that they would find me and murder Pope for all of this. He whipped out his gun.

"I know why now that I didn't want kids." Pope said as he smacked me with this gun. "You are so lucky I don't kill you here and now." He said as I faded in and out. "Keep your eyes open." He barked. I peeled my eyes opens only to see the gun he had pointing at me. "Walk to the truck." He said as I pulled myself up and barely could stand, "Walk faster." He demanded.

"I can only walk so fast." I said to him sneering when I was talking.

"You don't talk to your father like that." He said. He pushed me and I hit the ground. I felt a sharp pain and I hissed in pain. I hit something as soon as I seen the blood pouring out my side.

"Well this makes my job easier." Pope said before he pulled me up and shoved me in the back of the van. "Don't worry I will let them know where you are, maybe." Pope said laughing. I only hissed out in pain and grabbed my side, hoping that I didn't lose the babies or anything worse that I lost them. I could only pray as he hit the gas and sped off to somewhere else.

* * *

"She's on the move again." Juice said as he tracked her cell phone, well he did track Pope's phone. Her's seemed not to be moving much.

"Where to?" Jax yelled getting angry that Pope took her again.

"I'm not sure." Juice said.

"Why would Pope take her?" Gemma said as they all waited around for some sign of her.

"Do you know what it is like to lose a child?" Tig asked. "I saw Dawn get burned alive by Pope, maybe this is his way of getting me back. A child for a child. I hope not. Dawn seen Ryan and I just don't know." Tig said. Gemma hugged him. She knew what it was like to lose a child. She lost Tommy as well as Tig losing Dawn.

"I think Pope doesn't know you are expecting with Ryan." Gemma said looking at Clay.

"He already knows. I told him." Clay said.

"What else did you tell?" Jax demanded.

"I told Cheryl everything where Ryan was living, where Ryan was doing, I filled her in the past couple of years that Cheryl missed out on. I just didn't think that is would come back like this. God I fucked up didn't I?" Clay said as he chugged his beer.

"Yeah you sure did, don't bother coming home tonight." Gemma said as she walked out the door.

"But I paid for it." Clay said getting up and trying to leave with Gemma.

"You may have paid for it, but I make it a home." Gemma said. "If you knew what was best you best not be coming home tonight." Clay walked back into the clubhouse and went to his dorm, where he would stay for the night. No matter much he fucked up Gemma wouldn't let him in the house not now not ever until she was found.

We finally stopped somewhere and I was screaming in pain. "Stop screaming." Pope said to me as he opened the back door to let me out. He dragged me out and shoved me to the ground. He started to kick me and I hissed out in pain again. I started to scream. "Ain't no on going to hear you out here. Blackout be ready to die." Pope said as he pulled out his gun. He pulled his phone out in his other hand and opened it up. He hit the send button and told whoever was on the other line. "You better get here, she has mere seconds before I pull the trigger." He said laughing. That was all I heard before gun shots rang out in the forest.

* * *

"You better get her, she has mere seconds before I pull the trigger." Pope said as Tig and Jax listend to the phone call. It didn't end there.

"Where is she?" Jax growled out.

"I drove her to the forest to die. I mean what better place for her to die then nature." Pope said. Gun shots then rang out in the forest. They didn't hear anything. It was quiet. They heard the van pulled away and then a very faint "I hope my babies make it, if I don't." It was Ryan's voice.

"We need to save her. Now." Tig said as the guys were pulling out on their bikes. "Prospect bring the car. Going to need it." Tig yelled out as he jumped into the van.

"Ryan, its's Jax we are coming to get you, stay with me." Jax said as he jumped in to the car.

"Jax, he shot me." Ryan said.

"We need you to stay awake, Ryan." Jax said pleading that she would listen to him and stay awake.

"Jax I love you." Ryan said before the line went dead.

"Fuck man we better hurry." Jax said as they pulled out and sped off to where the track came from.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Thanks, for the review I love reading what you think about this and I hope you are enjoying this story. I think I am in the works of a backstory for Ryan, if anyone is interested in it, let me know and I will post it. Thanks again.**


	23. Chapter 23

_**I don't want to live  
To waste another day  
Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made  
'Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside  
I don't want to fall and say I lost it all  
'Cause baby there's a part of me to hit the wall  
Leaving pieces of me behind  
Leaving pieces of me behind  
And I feel like I'm breaking inside**_

_**Breaking Inside - Shinedown.**_

They only made it so far when the track went dead, meaning it was on their own from here on out. "Do you think we should call someone?" Half Sack asked. As they looked around. There was no sign of Ryan at all.

"Do you need help?" Clay asked, as he finally got there.

"No just go back." Jax spat at him. Clay went to ask Tig and walked away.

"Don't even." Tig said as he walked away from Clay. "But we do need it, more people looking for her the more chances she has at being found." Tig said.

"Even though I don't want it. Help us." Jax said as he walked to where Juice was standing. They both looked at the bloody path.

"Is that her blood?" Juice asked.

"I am not sure. Tig I think we may have found her." Jax yelled to get the guys attention and to get Tig's attention. They ran down and followed the bloody path that lead them to Ryan's blood covered body.

"Oh god Ryan." Jax said as he pulled her head up in to his lap. Tig pulled out his phone and tried to call for help.

"Jackie boy there is a pulse. Barely. She needs medical attention as fast as possible." Chibs said as he looked her over.

"I can't reach anyone." Tig said as he took in the look of Ryan's body. Her face was bloody and bruised. Her wrists and feet were rubbed raw from the rope that Pope used. Her face was slowly going whiter by the second. "I really hope we made it in time." Tig said as he looked away he couldn't look at her body anymore.

"I think we did." Chibs said. He opened his phone to see if he could reach anyone. He couldn't. "You know Jackie boy I hate to ask but what about Tara?" Chibs asked.

"I never thought of her. I don't know man." Juice said. Knowing Jax wouldn't want Ryan to die out here.

"Do you think we could move her?" Jax asked completely ignoring that Tara part.

"I don't know. How about if we try." Half Sack said as all of the men tried picking her up and bringing her to the car.

"Unser is on his way, he brought help." Clay said. The boys didn't make it far maybe a few steps before they seen the lights and Unser yelling for them.

"Thank god." Tig said.

"Amen brother." Jax said as he waited with Ryan by his side.

"You know I am not good at showing things but thanks." Tig said as he sat next to Jax and Ryan. Jax still holding on to Ryan.

"She's not going to die, Tig. She can't die." Jax said as they took Ryan away in the ambulance. Lights flashing and sounds going as they sped off for the sake of Ryan living.

"Who did this?" Unser asked.

"Damon Pope." Clay said out loud no one wanted to speak about what just happened.

"I will get a report written up." Unser said.

"Thanks." Clay said. Knowing that at least he was trying to help in any way possible.

* * *

"You coming?" Jax heard Tig ask him. Jax hadn't moved since they took Ryan away.

"Someone should call Piney." Miles said, he was still a Prospect.

"I already did. He is waiting arrival at St. Thomas." Opie said fearful for what would happen to Ryan. That was his sister. She meant the world to him.

"I think we should leave him." Half Sack said as he walked away. That pissed Jax off.

"You want to leave me? Leave, you just didn't almost lose your girlfriend, I did. You didn't almost lose your children, I did. You didn't lose everything you had, I almost did. So if you want to leave me then fine so fucking be it, Half Sack." Jax said in anger.

"I lost Cherry. I loved her. So I know how it feels." Half Sack yelled out in protest.

"She didn't die, she left you." Jax said.

"Yeah, she only left cause she was running from the law." Half Sack yelled back.

"No, she found out some shit she wasn't supposed to so I told her to get lost. The law was just an act." Jax said as he stared at him.

"No that isn't true." Half Sack said.

"No, she is over in Ireland. With SAMBEL." Jax said.

"No." Half Sack. "You are just pissed off that I got better action by her then you did by Ryan." Half Sack said. Juice and Tig had to hold Jax from beating the living shit out of Ryan.

"You go home. You do not go to the clubhouse. I see you there I swear to fucking god that I will beat the living shit out of you. I don't want to hear my name or her name come out of your mouth again." Jax said. He needed to be taught a lesson.

"Or what you going to hit me?" Half Sack egged him on. Juice looked over at Tig and Tig gave him the look and nodded. They both let him go and Jax hit Half Sack right in the jaw.

"Next time it will be worse." Jax growled at Half Sack.

* * *

Piney strolled into St. Thomas with Gemma. He had gotten the call from Opie, letting him know she was found and on the way to St. Thomas. "Where is Ryan Vega?" He asked the nurse.

"I am sorry sir, no Ryan Vega here. There is a Ryan Winston though. Is that who are looking for?" The nurse asked.

"Yeah I wasn't sure what name she was using." Piney said as he looked her over.

"Are you her father?" She asked. "Are you her mother as well?"

"I am her father but this is just a family friend." Piney said.

"Okay, I will have you fill out these forms and I will let you know what's going on as soon as I can." The nurse said trying to be nice.

"Thank you." Gemma said as she walked away with Piney.

"What are those forms?" Gemma said.

"Just medical information." Piney said, as he flipped through them.

"What is this one?" Gemma asked as she read it over. The forms of resuscitate and if they happen to arrive D.O.A.

"Piney you can't sign this one." Gemma said as she looked at it with wide eyes.

"I am not going to. I want them to do what they do to make her live. I don't want her to die on me. I can't lose a child." Piney said as he filled out the forms and brought them back to the nurse. "Is there anything you can tell me about Ryan?"

"She wasn't brought in yet. It should be about " The nurse was cut off when three people came rushing in to the hospital and they saw the gurney covered in blood and then they saw Ryan, not moving and just lying there still as if she was already dead.

"Is that her?" Gemma asked as she had tears in her eyes.

"Yes, that is a Ryan Winston." The nurse said as she went to take the forms from the one EMT. She read them over. She had a look of horror on her face. She walked over to us.

* * *

"The Chapel is down the hallway." Was the nurse said before she went back to back part of the office.

"Well the hell does that mean?" Gemma asked before Piney could answer The Sons walked in to the hospital. Bobby looking down, Juice hoping she was okay, Tig was looking like he was ready to murder Pope, Half Sack holding his jaw, Opie looking like he was close to losing it, Chibs just looking down she couldn't tell what he looked like and then there was Jax her son, looking like he had just lost his entire world with Ryan not being there. All Gemma could do was hug her son and hoped everything would be okay.

"What did they say? Anything?" Bobby asked as no one said anything.

"Only that the Chapel was down the hallway." Piney said as he stared where he last seen Ryan before she was hauled off again.

Everyone looked at Piney and then they followed his glaze and seen the blood from what everyone was guessing was Ryan's gurney. No one moved after looking at that.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). I hope you are enjoying this story.**


	24. Chapter 24

_**And I'm the one you can never trust**_

_**'cause wounds are ways to reveal us**_

_**And yeah I could have tried and devoted my life to both of us**_

_**But what a waste of my time when the world we have is yours**_

_**So break me down if it makes you feel right**_

_**And hate me now if it keeps you alright**_

_**You can break me down if it takes all your might**_

_**'cause I'm so much more than all your lies**_

_**Breakdown – Seether.**_

The Sons, Chief Unser, and Gemma all sat around waiting any word on Ryan. "Thank you for being here Chief." Gemma said as she broke the silence in the waiting room. Jax seen Tara walk by, Gemma got up to go talk to her.

"Ma, just leave her alone. I don't want any more drama." Jax said stopping his mother from talking to Tara.

"Okay baby." She said.

"Why would you want to talk to her anyways?" Jax asked getting curious why his mother would want to talk to his ex- girlfriend well more like his ex- old lady. Only they never had full discloser, but just like Ryan Tara was willing to get the crow for Jax so that they could have full discloser. He glad she never got it.

"I was going to ask her if she heard anything about Ryan." Gemma said. Looking at her son she could tell what the whole three months Ryan was missing, he had bags under his eyes from not sleeping, he hadn't had a descent hair cut in three months, and he even hadn't seen his son for the past three months ever since she was missing. Abel would always ask about Mommy RyRy and when why she wasn't there. He was still too young to understand everything.

"She wouldn't know anything and I doubt she would tell you. Tara doesn't like you, Tara doesn't like Ryan." Jax said as he seen her pass again. She gave a dirty look. Jax gave her the same dirty look back.

"Why was Clay behind this?" Gemma asked.

"Another time." Jax said as he sat back down.

"Family for Ryan Winston?" The doctor asked walking in to the waiting room. Piney and Opie stood up. Piney walking over to the doctor. "We need to talk in private." He said motioning to him and Opie.

"Brother and father." Opie said as he followed them out.

* * *

"I wonder how Ryan is doing." Bobby said as everyone watched what happened between Opie, Piney, and now the doctor added in to the mix.

"I don't know. I should go find out." Gemma said as she walked up to the nurses' station. She smiled as she approached the nurses' station. "I was wondering if you could tell me anything about Ryan Winston."

The nurse looked at her. "I am sorry that has to be family and only the doctor can."

"How bad is it?" Gemma asked. Pleading with her, she just wanted to know what has going on.

"I am sorry miss, but I can't. Only family." The nurse replied. Jax seen her at the nurses' station.

"Fuck Mom." Jax said as he walked her and grabbed her and told the nurse "Sorry." The nurse smiled as he pulled her away.

"I am sure she is fine." Juice said to her and Tig and him grabbed Gemma and Jax checked on Piney and Opie who were still talking with the doctor. Jax ran a tired hand down his face. He felt like he hadn't slept in days, which he didn't. He barely slept since Ryan went missing. Tig has been antsy since she was missing. Jax and Tig were kind of in the same boat. Jax kept a watchful eye on Opie and Piney. Piney looked he was close to tears and he swore he seen Opie wipe his eyes. And those men weren't very emotional.

* * *

Everything was quiet for the next hour. Piney and Opie finally came back in from talking to the doctor. "She lost a lot of blood. They want a transfusion. I told them that we would test for it." Piney said.

"We all will test for her Piney." Gemma said as she got up and hugged him.

"Thank you. But that's not all." Opie said as he waited a second before talking again. "Pope hit her so hard that she has a little bit of brain damage, they aren't sure if she is going to make it."

"She has to make it. Those babies lifes depend on it." Tig said, hoping that at least the babies made it.

Piney eyes filled up with tears up again. He started shaking his head no. Tig didn't get it but Jax did.

"You have to be fucking kidding me." Jax whispered as Opie hugged him. The best friends had just let them cry on one another for the lost children.

"She lost them Tigger. The doctor said that when she came in, her side was busted open and they think that is when the labor started. They never made would have had the chance to-" Piney said before he just broke down in tears.

"I am so sorry." Tig said as he hugged Piney. Gemma then took over. Tig went over to where Opie and Jax where. Tig and Jax just hugged it out, forgetting that they fought over Ryan. Now they were just hoping for the best of her.

The doctor walked back in to the room and went to Piney. "She is out of it still, but she made it through." Dr. James said.

"Thank god." Piney said.

"You all can go and see her, maybe talk to her. We have her in coma for now. We want to make sure that the brain damage is nothing serious. We put her in a private room. Now she doesn't look pretty but it is the best we can do at this point." Dr. James said. He led Piney and Opie to her room. Piney didn't want to go in to her room first.

"I can't go in Harry." Piney said, using Opie's first name which he rarely did do.

"I don't know if I can either. I am scared." Opie said as he watched his father wipe his eyes again. They both decided that they needed to go in and together they went in. No one could prepare them for the sight that they saw.

Ryan was in a hospital bed. Her face was bruised, a nasty scar of her forehead. Dried blood stain along the side of her face. They both could see the bruising on her legs, mostly from the hands of Pope and the three other men that had raped her multiple times. Her feet were bandaged along with her wrist. She looked so tiny compared to the tube that was helping her breath. Her skin held a ghostly white tint to it instead of her normal tannish color she had. "Oh god Blackout, I am so sorry I wasn't there for you." Piney said as he took her slender hand and held on it, right now which is what she needed is just someone to be by her. Opie was off to the side still taking in Ryan's condition.

"Ryan, we will find this guy and we will take him down for you. Unless you want too." Opie said, knowing that she would want revenge on Pope. Since she couldn't get revenge on Cheryl. Opie walked out of the room and just walked up to Jax. Knowing that he would want to see her soon, he just couldn't take it anymore. "I want vengeance, but knowing Ryan she will want it more than both of us put together." Opie said as they just stood in silence, not knowing what to say after all of this happened.

Jax swallowed the lump in this throat. "When can I see her?"

"How about tomorrow? Give dad some time with her?" Opie asked well answered. Right now he just wanted Piney to be with her, like a father daughter moment just happens to be in a hospital. Jax only nodded.

"I want someone at that door all day every day." Opie said.

"Consider it done." Jax said motioning the Prospect to stand guard at her door. "No one gets in without a cut or is a doctor. Not even Tara." Jax said. The Prospect merely shook his head yes. They all left together to try to get a good night sleep, which would never come.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).**


	25. Chapter 25

_**Keep it real**_

_**whatever that means**_

_**even if your so young you've never seen a limousine**_

_**your gonna one day**_

_**just remember**_

_**never get in**_

_**and don't give up.**_

_**Be Yourself and 5 Other Clichés – Rockstar Supernova.**_

Jax finally went home after being gone for three months and slept in the same bed with Abel. "Daddy." Abel screamed when he woke up. Waking Jax up as well.

"Hey son." He said as he hugged him. Hoping what Ryan went through that he would never have to.

"Hungry." He said as he got done hugging his father.

"What do you want?" Jax asked his son.

"Cookie." He said. Meaning Neeta made some cookies last night.

"Neeta make cookies? How about I get the milk and you get the cookies." Jax said as they both got up for the day.

Jax dropped of Abel with Gemma for a while. "Are you going to spend time with him now?" Gemma asked before Jax had the chance to leave again.

"Yeah, I am going to see Ryan. Abel I will be back for you." Jax said as he hugged his mother and son.

"Bye daddy. Tell RyRy I love her." Abel yelled and then laughed with his grandma.

"Sure will." Jax said as he sped off St. Thomas.

* * *

He got there and walked to Ryan's room, seeing the Prospect still there he told him to go home. Piney looked rough, for staying the night with her.

"How is she Piney?" Jax said without looking at her, he wasn't ready.

"No change." Piney said his voice cracking a bit. Piney didn't want to look at Jax and Jax couldn't look at Piney.

"You should go home. Get some sleep." Jax said.

"I don't think I can." Piney said as he got up walking to Ryan and holding her hand.

"Look I know you been here all day yesterday and all night. You look like shit, you need to go home. I will be with Ryan." Jax said trying to get Piney to rest and refreshed.

"I just think I should stay here with her. You know?" Piney asked as he dropped her hand and stood up.

"Piney, she would want you to go home and be refreshed. I can call you if anything changes, or you can call me to check up on her." Jax said. "She would want you to do this."

"I know, it's hard seeing her like this." Piney said finally letting the few tears he had slip.

"I know. I didn't want to see her like this either." Jax said. The older man reached out and hugged the younger man.

"Your dad would be so proud of you right now." Piney said as they were both hugging.

"Thanks." Jax said. Piney let go and Jax took a seat next to Ryan's bed side. He grabbed her hand.

"I am so sorry I couldn't be there to protect you, I should have been there." Jax started talking to Ryan, hoping she could hear him. He wait a while before speaking again. "I am sorry that you lost the children, but there will be other chances that we can makes children again, I swear we will get vengeance." Jax said. After a half hour he couldn't take it anymore, he just let his tears fall. He was tired of holding them back. He swore that he would never let anyone see him cry.

Tara didn't see anyone standing guard Ryan Winston's room. She thought she would check in on her, but she was wrong when she peeked her head in. She found Jax with Ryan and he was crying. She knew that he never cried in front of her but seeing him crying in front of Ryan, she knew that this would never happen if it was her in the bed.

"Are you okay, Jax?" Tara asked him.

He quickly wiped his eyes and turned to see Tara. "Yeah, I am fine." He quietly said. He didn't want her here and see wanted to see her go.

"Well I just wanted to let you know that she has no improvement. I was actually looking for her father, Chuck do you know where I could find him?" Tara asked.

"You know damn well know that he left her, he isn't her father." Jax said as he voice went in and out. He knew that she already knew that Chuck Vega wasn't much of a father.

"Well I can't find Piney." She said as she checked over her charts.

"What is this about?" Jax asked but it was more in a demanding voice. One that he didn't use very often.

"We don't know if she will make it if we pull her off life support. She has about a twenty five chance of living if we do." Tara said.

"You keep her on it." Jax said.

"But you can't decide that Jax, you aren't family." Tara said walking out.

"Fuck you Tara. That's why I left you." Jax said before she walked out completely.

"No it wasn't that. Jax you didn't let me in to the life. Gemma liked me, but you couldn't handle me." Tara said.

"I didn't think you would want this life. Look what it did to Ryan. What would you have done if you were in this place? Nothing cause you got out, I didn't want you." Jax said as he started to yell at her.

"I loved you." Tara said.

"Yeah well I didn't love you, I always loved Ryan. She was the one who I imagined when I was in you. I always seen her face when I closed my eyes. It was never you, I didn't want you and plus you weren't cut out for this life." Jax said.

"Yes I was." Tara said. She knew from the start that she was cut out for this life. Ryan wasn't even though she was growing up in it. She would never make it.

"Why cause you kept your fucking nose out of what we did? You weren't in it. I can't I wouldn't go home and tell you everything. With Ryan I can. I can tell her anything." Jax said as she stared at him in shock. "You can leave now."

Soon as she left, Jax started to talk to Ryan again. Talking about the good old days. "Do you know how many times I tried to get you to go out with me?" Jax started off.

"Way too many times. She never gave you the time of day." Jax heard from the door way. He looked over and seen Opie.

"I know, then when she did actually let me date her she didn't let me in her pants." Jax said laughing.

"Nope." Opie said. "How is everything?"

"Nothing has changed. It's still the same. I just don't know how I am doing this, you know when she's all laid up and I'm choked up on what to say." Jax said.

"Yeah I know it's hard." Opie said as he sat down next to Jax and they both waited for sign of improvement together.

"I can't lose her Jax." Opie said his voice cracking.

"I know. I don't want to lose her either." Jax said.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).**


	26. Chapter 26

_**'Cause everything that you thought I would be**_

_**Has fallen apart right in front of you.**_

_**(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)**_

_**Every step that I take is another mistake to you.**_

_**(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)**_

_**And every second I waste is more than I can take.**_

_**Numb – Linkin Park.**_

It has been three weeks since Ryan was in the hospital. Jax has not left her side, no matter what. He wasn't leaving her again, just because she left last time he wasn't going to leave her. Opie and Piney checked as often as they could. Gemma even stopped by to check on things. She was sorry and everything that happened. She would no longer bring up Tara's name. Gemma just wanted her to be okay.

"How are you baby?" She asked her son, never leaving her side.

"I am okay I guess. I don't really know how I should feel. I hate that she is lying in a bed, half way almost dead cause of me and Tig. This would have never happened if she didn't come back."

"I know, sometimes I wished she didn't come back but then I would worry about her, like I always do." Gemma said.

"I know I do too. But since she has been back I haven't been with anyone else, only her. I can't do that to her." Jax said.

"I know baby, I know." Gemma said hugging her son.

"I am going to get back at Clay for this." Jax said as soon as he pull away from his mother.

"I know, he will get it one day." Gemma said.

"When Ryan is better." Jax said sitting back down. He wasn't going anywhere.

"You are staying?" Gemma said as the doctors came in.

"As long as he is family, he can stay through this." Dr. James said to the both of them.

"Can you just let me stay through this? Her father isn't here." Jax said.

"Who says her father isn't here? I am right here." Jax heard the voice from the door way. He looked over and seen what would be her father Chuck.

"So you are Chuck?" Jax asked.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Chuck said. Jax walked over to him and pouched him in the jaw. He started to wail on him until Gemma pulled him back.

"You ain't a father to her." Jax yelled before Gemma called Piney and he was on his way. Chuck laid out on the floor, a bloody mess and possibly a broken nose.

* * *

"I am her legal father." Piney said as he walked in to Ryan's room.

"Mr. Winston." Dr. James said shaking his hand. "We want to pull Ryan off life support. Now I know you want to do anything and everything to keep her alive. But I think we should try it."

"When?" Piney asked.

"We wanted to do it as soon as possible. We just wanted your input about it." Dr. James said.

"Okay, what else would happen?" Piney asked.

"Well her side where it looks like she hit something or something hit her, looks like to be healing quite well. Now the shots that she received don't seem to be healing as we would like them to be." Dr. James said to Piney as they walked back in to Ryan's room.

"What about her brain damage?" Piney asked.

"Nothing changed. Still a little improvement. We want to wait a little bit longer until she will hit fifty percent instead of twenty five chance of living." Dr. James said while looking over her charts.

"I just want to make sure that you are doing everything you can to keep her alive." Piney said as he sat down next to Ryan's bed side. Jax had to receive medical treatment, due to him pouching Chuck.

"Hmm this doesn't seem right." Dr. James said to out loud.

"What is it?" Piney asked.

"She seems to having some issues with what she is receiving." Dr. James said. Piney peaked a look over her charts.

"She is receiving Penicillin, along with Amoxicillin," Dr. James said.

"She can't have those she is allergic." Piney said.

"We need to get her off of those now." Dr. James yelled to the nurses. The nurses ran in and changed everything. Piney had never seen anything like it. Dr. James said that Piney would have to leave so they could get this done. Piney stood outside her door.

* * *

"What's wrong Piney?" Jax asked as he ran up to Piney.

"She was getting some shit she was allergic to; I don't know what was going on with her. They also want to take her off life support, and they would like her to get better before taking her out of coma." Piney said.

"Shit." Jax said as he tried going in there. The door was shut so he couldn't get far.

"They are trying to fix it now." Piney said. He was lost for words.

"I am sorry I wasn't there before." Jax started off.

"But you are now. Jax she needs you. Thank you for you know being there, I know Tig wouldn't be there." Piney said.

"He has other things you know. Tig has troubles with shit like this." Jax said. Now thinking of it, Tig hasn't been here since she been here. It was always been Jax, Opie, Gemma, or Piney. No one else. He laid against the wall and slide down. "Who would give her shit she knows she not supposed to have?"

"You know who." Piney said hoping Jax would get it.

* * *

"Fuck." Jax said as he got up and in searched for Tara. He wondered down the hallways. "You know where I can find Dr. Knowles?" He asked some nurse.

"She's down the hallway. Three doors down on the left hand side." The nurse replied. Jax smiled and took off for her office room.

He busted in on her, "What the fuck do you think you are doing to Ryan?" He demanded. The look on her face was shocking.

"You think I would try to kill her?" She asked.

"Yeah I fucking would think this. You hate her." Jax said.

"Why would you think that? I don't hate Ryan." Tara said. She started to smirk.

"Who else would know she was allergic to that shit." Jax demanded.

"I don't know Jax, I mean it's not on her files. You were there mostly." Tara said. "Maybe you tried killing her."

"You are so lucky I don't hit women." Jax said as he stormed out. Jax knew she was trying to kill her; he just needed to prove it now. There was no way he was going to let her get away from this. No fucking way in hell. Ryan was his and soon as she got well enough he was going to prove it to her.

"Jax wait." Tara said as he was walking down the hallway back to Ryan's room.

"Don't fucking talk to me Tara. I know you are trying to kill her." Jax screamed at her. Tara had tears in her eyes. Jax looked back at her, knowing that he would fall for it.

"Fuck you Tara, I ain't falling for it this time. Stay away from Ryan." Jax said.

"Like hell I will. Trust me Teller, she won't be around for long." Tara whispered to herself. Being in a medical field had it many of the best possible ways to kill someone. She could only smile. Soon he would be hers. All hers and not Ryans. She smirked on the way back to her office.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).**


	27. Chapter 27

_**It sure left it's mark on us, we sure left our mark on it**_

_**We let the world know we were here, with everything we did**_

_**We laid a lot of memories down, like tattoos on this town**_

_**There's still a rope burn on the old branch, that hangs over the river, I still got the scar**_

_**From swinging out a little too far**_

_**There ain't a corner of this hallow ground, that we ain't laughed or cried on, it's where we loved,**_

_**Lived and learned real life stuff**_

_**It's everything we're made of**_

_**Tattoo On This Town – Jason Aldean. **_

Chuck came walking up to Piney. "Let me see my daughter."

"No, last time you forgot about her." Piney said.

Chuck looked like he was about to say something else but he got cut of when Dr. James walked out. "Mr. Winston, you can go see her now."

"Thank you." Piney said as he smiled.

"But I am her biological father." Chuck protested.

"It doesn't say that on the forms here." Dr. James said. "Do you want him here Mr. Winston?"

"Hell fucking no." He said smiling. Chuck was hauled off by some big beefy men.

* * *

Jax arrived shortly after four. "Is she doing any better?"

"Yeah she seems to be doing a lot better. James thinks that her brain damage will go down now." Piney said as he grabbed her hand. "They still have her on life support just in case."

"I would hate to think what would happen if she wasn't." Jax said.

"I don't even want to think about it." Piney said.

"Was Chuck here?" Jax asked.

"Yeah but I wouldn't let him see her." Piney said.

"Good. You are her father no matter what anyone says." Jax said.

"Thank you Jackson." Piney said.

"You know, I was thinking of sending her home when she gets better." Jax said.

Piney stared at the blond haired biker. "Why?"

"I seem to only get her in trouble. This would have never happen if she didn't come back." Jax said. He was about to say more but Piney gave him a look like shut up let me talk.

"Truthfully, you want to know why she came back?" Piney asked. Jax looked over at him and then at Ryan. "She came back for you and Opie. Mostly for Opie after Donna got killed, but she told me that she knew she had to come back for you. You can't see it, but Ryan is in love with you. She was in love with you when she left. She didn't want to leave but Tara was problem."

"Why was Tara a problem?" Jax asked dumbfounded that she would be a problem.

"Ryan liked you the instant she seen you, why do you think she would never let you in to her pants? She knew you were with Tara. She may have let you cheat on Tara with her. She loved you about a year after she got here. She never told anyone. Hell I was lucky she told me." Piney said. Jax grabbed Ryans hand.

"I don't know if I can let her go." Jax said.

"She never let you go." Piney said. "I found the letters she wrote to Donna about Opie. Donna tried to get him out of this life. She always said that this life is family and you can't change that." Piney said.

"What?" Jax asked.

"Donna didn't want me in this life." Opie said from the door way. "Ryan talked her in to keeping me in this life. Like she said in the letters this life is family." Opie said as he joined his father at Ryan's bed side.

* * *

"I think Tara tried to kill her." Jax said.

"Are you fucking with us?" Opie asked.

"No, they were giving her shit she was allergic too. Piney did you check to see who assigned it?" Jax said.

"Yeah it was TK. Tara Knowles." Piney said.

"Then she tired fucking with my life again." Jax said. "I can't catch a fucking break with her. It like every time I do something good she comes and fucks shit up." Jax said.

"Why can't she just let go of you?" Opie asked to no one out loud.

"She may still love you." Piney said. Jax scoff at that.

"She can love me all she wants. The only women I want is Ryan." Jax said.

Opie just looked at him. "Seriously? Are you serious about her this time?"

"Yeah Op I am. I just want to be a one women guy. You know like what you and Lyla have." Jax said.

Opie smiled, his best friend finally understood what was in front of him to whole time but he was just to stupid to notice it. "Well boys, I should get going. You know how it is. Was Tig going to stop by?" Piney asked.

"I don't think so why?" Opie asked. Jax didn't know for sure, all he knew was he was going to try to stop by. As luck would have it, Tig would never show, never did never will.

* * *

Juice popped in the door way.

"Clay wants you two at Church." Juice said to both Jax and Opie.

"I don't want in." Jax said. "I am not leaving her again, shit went sideways." Jax added on. Juice gave him a look. "Dude, its Tara." Then he understood.

"How is she doing?" Juice asked as he walked in. Piney stayed behind yet, waiting for Juice.

"Good, docs say she could come out of coma any day now. I am hoping it is soon." Jax said. Opie nodded agreeing with Jax.

"That's great. We need her around more often." Juice said as he walked out the door to meet with Piney and they both took off to the clubhouse.

"You know Opie, I thought about letting her go. You know after she gets better." Jax said. He had this same talk with Piney.

"Why? Do you think she would have a safer life without you protecting her?" Opie asked. Jax nodded yes without moving his eyes of Ryan. "Jackson let me tell you something. Going home to nobody isn't fun. You don't have anyone there to tell you that they love you or some other shit. Ryan will always be there for you no matter what. I don't care if she was away for seven years. In that seven years she shared and sent letters to Donna. Even though she was away, she still cared for us." Opie said.

"You think she would stay with me? Even after all of this?" Jax asked as if he doubted it somehow.

"No Jax I know she would. She loved you since she left. She hasn't stopped." Opie said.

"You know what? You are just like your father." Jax said smiling.

"He said the same thing?" Opie asked.

"Something along the lines of it." Jax said.

"How's Abel handling things?" Opie asked. With Ryan being in the hospital he knew that Abel hadn't been able to see Ryan within the past four or five months of her being gone.

"Good for his age." Jax said. Him thinking of Abel made him think what would have happened if she didn't lose the babies.

"You know it's not your fault. You know her losing the babies." Opie said, saying what Jax was thinking. Even though Jax didn't want to say it.

"I know, it was Pope's fault." Jax said.

"Yeah looks like you need some time alone with her." Opie said.

"Nah, why don't you stay with us." Jax said.

"You sure?" Opie said.

"Positive." Jax said smiling. He knew there wouldn't be any other place right now then with his two best friends. Opie and Ryan Winston. He grew up with these two crazy kids. He wouldn't know what to do without them. All he would know is he would miss them like crazy. They started to reminisce about the good old days. They were both laughing so hard, good it was times like these that they remember why they got along so good.

"Where am I?" A scratchy and dry voice asked, they looked over and they saw that Ryan was awake.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). Season five pretty crazy, season finale crazy shit, hopefully no one dies. I really do. Hope you enjoyed.**


	28. Chapter 28

_**Time can never mend**_

_**The careless whispers of a good friend**_

_**To the heart and mind**_

_**Ignorance is kind**_

_**There's no comfort in the truth**_

_**Pain is all you'll find**_

_**Careless Whisper – Seether. **_

"Ryan you are awake." Jax said as he hugged her frail body.

"Yeah, now where am I?" I asked Jax as he let go of me.

"You are in the hospital. Ryan do you remember anything?" Opie asked me this time.

Suddenly the flashbacks came rushing back to me like a bad hangover. The beatings from those two men, well three before they all got killed. The gun shots, the fighting, oh my god what happened to my babies? I don't know. I only remember bit and parts of what happened. Still some of it was fuzzy. Like I didn't want to remember it. "My babies. How are my babies?" I asked faintly. I looked over at Opie and he wouldn't look at me. I looked over at Jax and he looked down. "My babies didn't make it did they?" I asked out loud to no body. Then Dr. James walked in. No one spoke a word.

"Ryan, glad to see you are awake. I will let Mr. Winston know now." Dr. James said was he was about to walk out.

"I got it covered already." Opie said and the doctor turned around smiling.

"Great, now we have to wait for him to show up and we can talk." Dr. James said and a few minutes later, Piney walked into the room, heading straight for me.

"Blackout I am glad you are okay." Piney said as he hugged me.

"Thanks, dad." I said.

"Great now that everyone is here. Ryan we can take you off life support, now that you are talking on your own and breathing on your own." Dr. James said as he pulled the cords out. "As you know, your father here and brother know what has happened to you. This man here doesn't," He said pointing to Jax. "But although he has been here night and day he has not left your side for anything." Dr. James said.

"Thank you Jax." I said smiling. He only grabbed my hand in response.

"Do you want him to stay while we talk about what happened?" Dr. James asked. I nodded my head yes. I wasn't ashamed of what happened. Hell I was pretty sure he was the one that found me. Blood and beaten. "Can you remember anything that happened?" He asked.

"Yeah bits and parts, I do." I said.

"What do you remember?" He asked.

"I remember the shooting, the beatings, and I remember being pushed in to something and screaming out in pain. But he wouldn't help me just told me to shut up." I said remembering what I fell into well more like on to when he pushed me.

"Well this is what we have. When you came in there was blood all over. You had three serve GSW. (Gun Shot Wounds). One gunshot to the stomach, and two the kidney area. As far as your pregnancy was going, you lost them. They would have never had made it." Dr. James started off.

"So you mean to say that the fall that I got pushed in to, when he pushed me to walk faster. That is what made me lose them?" I asked not wanting to believe it.

"We are thinking so, that may have started your labor early and that's why you were screaming in pain. Your whole right side was a bloody mess. As far as we can tell it is healing quiet well. And for the GSW, they should be healing within the next couple of days." Dr. James said. I nodded my head and he was off to finish his rounds.

"I am sorry I wasn't there to protect you." Jax said as he felt this whole mess was his fault.

"It's not your fault. I should have been more careful." I said as I made him look at me. "It is not your fault."

"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't connected to the club." Jax said. His anger was getting the best of him. I saw him get up and start to pace back and forth. I could tell the Opie and Piney sensed a fight about to happened. A fight that I wasn't ready for.

Opie and Piney started to walk out when I called out to Opie. "Do you think that this was Jax fault?" I asked.

"No, it could have been anyone." He said.

"It doesn't matter who it was. Or who it could have been, Ryan you were hurt cause of us. I don't think you should be here anymore. I think it is best if you leave again." Jax said as he walked out the door.

* * *

"Was he serious?" I just asked as they stared at me. I felt the tears flow down my face. I was done hiding my tears, I cried not only for myself but for my unborn babies that never got the chance to live.

"I am sorry, do you want me to talk sense in to him?" Piney said.

"No as soon as I am better I am out of here." I said. I wiped away my tears just waited until I was better to leave. The doctor stopped by and I still had to wait a week to leave, just for safety issues. Fuck that shit I wanted out. I hoped I wasn't seeing things when I seen Gemma Teller- Morrow walk through my door.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. Jax sends his mother for his dirty work." I said as I shook my head.

"What are you talking about baby?" Gemma said as she sat down.

"Like you didn't put him up to this. You didn't want me around did you? So you told him it was best if I left after I was all better didn't you?" I asked her.

"No, I never told him to leave you. I thought it was only right that you and him were together. Jax just feels bad that this happened to him after it happened to Abel." Gemma said trying to fix things with the both of us. "Plus he has been here every day and all night. He hasn't touch a single pussy while you were here."

"Right, I don't care anymore cause soon as I am done with this hospital I am gone. This time I am not coming back. Ever." I said.

"But we need you here. You need to stay with us. Abel will miss you." Gemma said. Then I heard two tiny footsteps come in to the room.

"Mommy." Abel said as he got on the bed.

"Hey honey. How are you?" I asked him as he hugged me.

"Better. Daddy pissed off." He said pouting.

"Why daddy mad?" I asked.

"He said daddy told mommy to leave and he be happy." Abel said.

"Honey I am not going anywhere right now." I said to Abel as he got down and started to climb on Gemma's lap.

"Still leaving?" She asked.

"I don't know." I said as I thought about it.

"He needs a mother in his life." Gemma said before she left the room.

I thought about what Gemma said, true he does need a mother in his life. But I was sure that Wendy could fill that. Hell even Tara, unless that bitch got what she deserved with I could possibly go to prison for, she tried killing me for fuck sake. What the hell is wrong with people today? I swear once I am better and healing better, this town hasn't seen shit. I will get my revenge on Pope and I will make sure Tara will get what she deserves.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). **


	29. Chapter 29

_**And I am aware now of how**_

_**everything's gonna be fine one day**_

_**Too late, I'm in hell I am prepared now,**_

_**seems everyone's gonna be fine**_

_**One day too late, just as well**_

_**I feel the dream in me expire**_

_**and there's no one left to blame it on**_

_**I hear you label me a liar**_

'_**cause I can't seem to get this through**_

_**You say it's over, I can sigh again, yeah**_

_**Why try to stay sober when I'm dying here**_

_**Fine Again – Seether.**_

For the past week I was sitting the hospital bed, doing nothing. The Sons never came back and I was happy for that. Well at least Opie stopped by once and a while. I haven't talk to Jax since that fight and I don't plan on it.

"You ready to get out?" I heard from the door way and I saw Gemma.

"Yeah, I just have to get my release papers." I said as the doctor walked in. Handed me the papers and I signed them and he walked back out letting me know I was free to go. I grabbed my bag that Opie left me a few days ago and I changed in to black skinny jeans, a white SAMCRO Princess shirt, and my knee high black fuck me boots. The guy didn't know what was coming there way.

"How's Jax doing?" I asked.

"Drunk and stupid." Gemma said as she looked over me. "Damn nice assets."

"Thanks, now let's go." I said as we walked out. I walked by the nursery and seen Tara. It looked like she was talking to someone. "Does it look like she is talking to someone?" I asked Gemma as we stopped to look over at her.

"Yeah I wonder who?" Gemma said. All our questions were answered as we seen the familiar cut come in to view and then I saw the blond hair and then what he did next surprised the hell out of me. He fucking kissed Tara after she tried killing me. "You have to be fucking kidding me." Gemma said.

"Trust me it won't last long." I said to Gemma.

"Why not? It did before." Gemma said to me.

"She hasn't met me yet. She only met the Latino side, she didn't met my fighting side yet." I said as I smirked. This was going to be fun.

* * *

Couple of hours later I found myself at the clubhouse. "Jackie boy is going to be happy when you are here." Chibs said to me.

"Not for long, I saw him sucking face with Tara." I sneered at her name.

"Shit, you sure?" Tig said.

"Pretty fucking sure." I said as they both walked into the clubhouse. Jax stared at me. And I stared at him. He tried to smile at me but he dropped it as soon as he seen my face, a very pissed off face.

"What is wrong?" Happy asked.

"She is pissed off, soon to be in fighting mood." Tig said as he watched her get up and walk to Jax, making sure to tease him along the way. Her ass swayed and those fuck me boots they were hot.

"How do you know she is ready to fight?" Juice asked.

"Now she will tease the hell out of him" Tig said. Opie joined in and then mentioned

"Then she will knee him in the dick."

"Shit." Jax cursed as soon as Ryan started to walk away.

They both looked at Jax on the floor in pain. Ryan only smiled as she sat back down. "How fucking dare you touch him." Tara yelled to Ryan who seemed unfazed by this.

"I didn't do shit, Tara." I said as I walked over to her. I slowly walked up to her.

"Who has bets?" Bobby asked as mostly everyone put their bets on Ryan.

"You think you are so big bad tough guy?" She asked Ryan as she circled her.

"Bitch I know I am tough. Planning on fighting me cause like I told you I always win my fights." Ryan said. Tara went to push her and Ryan caught her foot. I shoved her down and started to wail on her.

* * *

"You fucking bitch." Tara yelled as I heard the bone crunch. I smiled as I felt the blood seeping thought my fingers as I repeatedly pouched her face. Jax pulled me off her.

"What the hell is your problem?" He yelled at me.

"You tell me I can't be with you and yet here you are fucking Tara. I knew this wouldn't last. Tara was your first fucking love. You are just like Tig." I yelled to him.

"I am not just like Tig." Jax roared at pissed off anger.

"Oh yeah? Tell how you two are different?" I asked him. He stared at me then looked down.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I said as I started to walk away.

"Ryan the only reason I let you go is because I love you too much to see you hurt again. I feel like that you missing was all my fault. I know that you keep telling me it wasn't but it was, if you weren't connected to this club it wouldn't have come up but you are." Jax said.

"Yeah I am connect, Piney is my father, Opie is my brother, and Gemma is like the mother I never had. You want to know what I think of you." I asked him. "I think of you as mine but even I can see you don't."

"What?" He said. I started to walk away. "Get back here." He yelled after me chasing me down. He spun me around. "Stay, forget I ever told you to leave." He grabbed me and started to kiss my lips. It took a while for me to kiss back.

I broke away first. "No Jackson I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" He asked.

"Us. Trying to pick up where we left off. Either we end what we have or we start fresh and new. You can't have both." I told him as he looked at me.

"I want to be with you Ryan." He said seriously.

"I understand that but does your dick understand that?" I asked him. I started to walk away without him giving me an answer. I know what his would be, no. His dick wasn't ready to belong to one pussy and I knew it. Or so I thought I did. Now I am not even sure if I did. I went home not to my home in Charming anymore back to where I was from yeah that's right I was going back home for good. I couldn't take this like I wanted too.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s). **


	30. Chapter 30

_**I can't think, think about this crazy day**_

_**I lose sleep just to daydream about you babyyyyyyyy**_

_**I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you lately (crazy baby)**_

_**I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you baby (I don't know what to do)**_

_**I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately (crazy, crazy, crazy)**_

_**I'm going crazy, crazy, (crazy, crazy) when I can touch you**_

_**Crazy, crazy (I'm going crazy) when I can hold you**_

_**Crazy, crazy, (I'm going crazy) when I can see you again**_

_**(Said I'm going crazy)**_

_**Crazy – K-Ci and JoJo**_

As I stood in my now empty house, expect for the letters I wrote each guy and of course I wrote one for Gemma. She was like the mother I never had. I decided to pick up my MMA Fighting again. Nothing would stop me now. I grabbed everything I needed and just sped off to somewhere else, I don't know if I was ever coming back again. I just needed out. I understood now about Tara why she left, this place would sallow you whole only if you let it. I however didn't let it.

Jax stood there where Ryan just left. Everyone was shocked at the way she just left. "Are you coming for me?" Tara asked Jax as he just stood there waiting like a dumbass.

"No, I am done with you. Just leave, I don't ever want to see your face again." Jax spit at her.

"Why?" Tara said. Jax pushed her outside the club doors and locked them shut tight.

"You going to find her?" Chibs asked.

"Yeah I think so. I think I may have found my true love." Jax said as he walked out the other doors and jumped on his bike. He rode to Ryan's only to find her car not there. He walked up to the door step and knocked on the door, no answer. He thought about calling her phone and then he seen a light on the inside of her house. He busted the door open only to find out it was her phone and then he looked to see some letters. Each one addressed to one club member. He didn't look around the rest of the house. "Fuck she took off." He said as he slide down the empty house and cursed. After about ten minutes of cursing and nothing happening he checked out the rest of the house only to find no trace of Ryan Winston living there. He would trash the house only there was nothing to trash.

He grabbed the letters and headed to the clubhouse. He walked in and dropped the letters off. "What this?" Bobby asked.

"Letters from Ryan. She took off. Left only letters." Jax said as he grabbed his and went off to his room. He ripped open the letter and read what Ryan had to write to him.  
_Dear, Jackson  
I know by the time you get this, I will be gone. I know now that we could have never happened. Your heart lies with Tara Knowles as much as I hate to say it but it does. I am sorry for the way that I left but I felt like this time was right to leave. But unlike last time I am not coming back. Even since I left the first time I knew that you and I had something special, we still do. Now I know you have my burner. There is no other place I would want it to be. I know you are thinking how I could possibly get away like this, don't forget I grew up like you did too. Don't find me because I know you won't. Take care of Abel don't let him be a man whore like his father. Please stay safe and keep a watch on my dad and brother.  
Please stay safe, I will always love you Jackson.  
P.S. I don't forgive you right now for this shit.  
Ryan Winston._

Jax stared the letter as he finished the letter. This is what she wanted and this is how it was going to be. Opie busted in to his room and then looked at the letter in his hand. "She wrote you one too?"

"Yeah, she did. I can't believe she is gone." Jax said.

"I know, I thought maybe you two would work this time." Opie said. Jax nodded in agreeing with his best friend. Opie soon left in order to find his letter and read what it had to say.

_Dear Opie,  
As far as you know I left already. I know that you and Gemma were hoping Jax and I would work things out but as it seems fate had different choices. I know you hate the fact that I left but I felt that it was right, I know this time I won't be back. In the letters I sent to Donna I always told her to remember the good times to remember, that's what I want you to do. Not the bad times but the good times. Harry I love you no matter what happens. Thank you for welcoming me with open arms each time I came home.  
Keep an watch on Jackson will you? And Abel? And your children? Please let them know I love them and I will miss them.  
Love always, Ryan Your loving caring sister._

Opie stared at the letter in his hands. He couldn't believe that Ryan left under his nose again. His life was already down the drain and this just made it crappier.

Gemma walked in to the clubhouse with the mood being very down, no one was happy. "Why the hell is everyone sad?" She asked out loud. No one met her eyes as she looked over each of the club member, only they weren't looking at her they had their eyes to a piece of paper. "What is so interesting about a piece of paper?" Gemma yelled out. She noticed that no one was paying her attention, she was about to go back in to the kitchen when a piece of paper caught her eye. On the cover it said Gemma.  
She walked over to it and opened it.  
_Dear Gem,  
I know that your reading this and wondering why I am writing you this letter. I can tell you why, I have left Charming and I don't want to come back. I know you wanted Jax and I to work things out, sadly it did not happen. Jax is in love with Tara weather you want to admit it or not. He heart lies with her, not mine. It just takes a while for him to realize that I am his true love, trust me if and when I do come back we will work it out. He may realize this now that I am gone, as for what you have done to me. Nothing. You are the sweetest mother a girl could have ever ask for, only I wish if you were my mother how would I turn out? I wonder that every day. I love you Gemma. Please keep an eye on everyone? Meaning Piney and Opie? Don't let Abel become a man whore like Jackson.  
Love you, Ryan._

Gemma slide to the floor and let her tears flow. She couldn't believe that Ryan was gone. In fact she couldn't believe that she left just like that. She had to be strong for her. Strong for herself as well. She stood up and looked at the rest of the letters, only ones who didn't pick their letter up was Tig and Clay. Strange that Tig wasn't here yet to work. Then there was also one for Piney, Opie, and Jax all together. Gemma resisted the urge to open Clay's just to see what she would have wrote him. Fuck it she thought as she reached for it and ripped it open. She was going to read what she wrote to him.  
_Dear Clay,  
You are lucky you are alive before I left. Maybe next time you won't be so lucky. You know before all this shit happened I thought of you as father but now I don't think much of you. How could you go behind your brothers backs and keep this shit from them? It's fine I don't care anymore. Plus there is always the threat of me coming back.  
This one doesn't deserve an I love you part it deserves I fucking hate you part.  
Ryan._

Gemma could only laugh as she read what it said. Finally Jax and Opie came out from the respectful rooms. "Let me guess she wrote you one too?" Jax asked his mother, who only nodded.

"She wrote each one a letter." Opie said. Gemma reached out and took the last letter that was for Piney, Jax, and Opie.

"What's this?" Jax asked as he took it. It read To Jax, Opie, and Piney. Jax opened it and started to read it out loud.  
_Dear Jax, Opie, and Piney.  
I suppose by now everyone has read their respectful letters, but if I know Gemma like I do she read Clays and got a good kick out of it. As I said before do not worry about getting to Pope and Tara. I have already taken care of them. I know you wanted to do it for me but I was being the bigger person and I took care of it. Jax I am sorry. Opie and Piney I love you.  
Ryan,_

After Jax was done reading it out loud. Piney walked in the door, Opie went over to him and pulled him in to a hug. "What is that for son?" Piney asked.

"Ryan, she took off." Opie said.

"Yeah I know she did. She told me she was." Piney said.

"Why didn't you stop her?" Jax said in anger.

"I tried but I failed." They all heard a voice behind them and they saw Tig, "As you can tell it didn't go to well." Tig was covered in cuts and he physical looked beaten down.

"What happened Tigger?" Gemma asked.

Piney started to laugh as he already knew what happened. "Shit storm happened with Ryan?" Tig only nodded as they knew what that meant, Ryan had hit Tig repeatedly until he let her go.

"Here." Gemma said handing Tig the last letter of the bunch. "We all got one."

Tig ripped open the letter. And he started to read it.  
_Dear, Tigger.  
As you know I am already gone, thank you for trying to stop me. It didn't work though. As you can tell. I am far away from this life that you never wanted me in. Yeah I knew in some way you wanted me out. And that we would have full disclosure. The more I thought about it the more I didn't want it to happen between us, it would have ruined what we had. But just so you know if and when I do come back I am not coming back for you.  
Ryan._

"So Tigger?" Gemma asked. She wanted to know what Ryan had said.

"If she comes back she isn't coming back for me." Tig said as he looked at Jax.

"She doesn't want me anymore." Jax said. "I fucked things up so bad between us. It can never go back to the way things were, never."

"Maybe she don't want things back to the way things were." Opie said to Jax. Just then two Charming officers walked in to the clubhouse.

"Can we help you officers?" Gemma asked them.

"Yeah, we want to know who shot up some place." One of the officers said. Then Chief Unser walked in to the clubhouse.

"I see my officers beat me here, but someone killed Tara Knowles and Damon Pope." Unser said.

They all looked over at each other, Ryan got her revenge.

**Again, I do not own anyone but my OC. The rest belong their respectful owner(s).  
This was the last chapter for this part of the story.  
However I do have a sequel in the works for this.  
Stay tuned for it. :)**


End file.
